Dream For Me Percy Jackson
by NinjaDemigod
Summary: You're one of the basic girls at camp with a crush on- lo and behold- Percy Jackson, no matter how much you don't want to be. You think you're never going to get a chance, but one day his friend Annabeth comes up to you and asks for your help. Percy's been having nightmares, and they won't go away. You're a child of Morpheus. Can you help? And how far are you willing to go?
1. Dreams Or Nightmares?

This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but it grew waaaay too long, so now it is its own separate story! The first chapter is also posted on my Heroes of Olympus One-Shots story collection. (Also, on a side note Percy and Annabeth are not together, just super best friends).

* * *

He was a hero.

A child of the Big Three.

The best.

He defeated Kronos, lived through two wars, fought countless monsters, and survived _Tartarus._

And who were you?

You were just some lowly child of Morpheus.

Morpheus, who sided with Kronos during the first war.

You barely fought in the wars, never had a quest, and your first monster was nowhere _near_ close to a Minotaur.

So of course he would never notice you. You don't know why you thought otherwise. You knew it would only lead to crushed feelings in the end. But some part of you always clung onto that hope whenever he looked in your direction. Even if it was only for a split second.

Even if it was a mistake.

What made your crush even stupider was that you were afraid of water. Of _water,_ of all things possible. And for whatever reason, you liked the son of Poseidon, god of the sea. Honestly, you frequently wondered what went on inside your head. Most of it was jumbled up nonsense that related to him and translated into 'feelings'. But those feelings were freaking confusing, and you drove yourself crazy trying to guess what they meant.

Somehow, no matter how many times you berated yourself and how hard you tried to convince yourself you felt nothing, the feelings always came back. They rose up in your chest, overtaking all common sense and reduced you to a quiet, shy picture of yourself. You couldn't stop them. You couldn't stop yourself.

You couldn't stop yourself from having a crush on Percy Jackson.

(~)

You weren't one of the kids that everyone knew at camp. Not like Nico and the Seven. You had your own little group of friends with which you spent most of your time with. You often faded into the background until no one was aware that you were even there. You were just a regular camper.

So it came as quite a surprise when one day Annabeth Chase ran up to you, breathing heavily as though she had sprinted from across camp. You waited, confused, as she caught her breath, wondering why on Olympus one of the Seven wanted to talk to you. "(Y/N)," she greeted after a few seconds.

"Erm..." You didn't know what to say. "Hi, Annabeth. Did you... need something?"

She blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Yes, actually. I need your help."

You swallowed nervously and willed yourself to not stutter as you spoke. "Is something wrong?" you asked.

Annabeth sighed, and with that one movement, all previous composure seemed to escape her. She sagged, shoulders slumping forward, a weary expression on her face. It was then that you noticed the dark bags under her bloodshot eyes, how her shirt was rumpled and creased, how she held her knife loosely in her hand.

She looked downright _exhausted._

You took a step forward in concern. It looked like she would collapse at any given moment. You reached out a hand, intent on setting it down on her arm, but hesitated halfway through. You barely knew each other; she probably didn't want you to worry or pity her. Instead, you asked, "Are you alright?"

Her head shot up as though she had forgotten you were there. She dragged a hand across her face tiredly. "It's not me you should be worrying about- it's Percy."

Immediately, you felt your heart rate speed up and your palms get sweaty simply by mentioning his name. Honestly, you were like any other girl with a crush, and you hated yourself for it. Especially right now. Now was not the time for your hormones to act up. Not when something bad could have happened to Percy.

You spoke rapidly. "What happened? Is he okay? Why do you need _my_ help?" You sighed internally. _So much for acting calm and collected._

Annabeth looked around, and you, copying her, noticed that there were quite a few campers eavesdropping on your conversation. They were probably wondering what a demigod like you was doing talking to a demigod like her.

Her voice dropped down to a quiet murmur. "Let's talk somewhere else. Your cabin?" You nodded. Cabin 24 was empty right now, your 2 other siblings being elsewhere. You were actually supposed to be in a canoeing lesson right now, but considering your fear of water you decided to ditch.

It didn't take long for you to arrive at Morpheus' cabin, one of the few cabins that had a circle design. Its white wooden walls did not stand out much amongst the other cabins. However, after opening a plain door with an intricately carved closed eye knocker, a whole different world opened up to people. The walls smoothed out to light beige-gold marble, on which there were swirls of black lines that gave off the sense of wind caressing the cabin. A few bunks hugged the walls to leave the middle wide open, where the softest feather chairs invited you to sit down and take a nap. The domed roof had a cacophony of dream catchers hanging down, all created with the detail only Hephaestus had an eye for. Being inside would make one feel as though in a fog, like they were dreaming, and a twinkling tune was always playing.

You loved your cabin.

You shut the door behind the two of you and looked at Annabeth expectantly. Her previously tired look hardened unexpectedly and you took a step back involuntarily, eyes widening in surprise. You hadn't done anything to anger her, had you?

She must have noticed how you were basically trembling in fear at her (because she could be seriously scary when she wanted to be) since she softened her gaze almost immediately. "I'm sorry," she sighed, "I didn't mean to scare you. It's just that... I don't know how to deal with this." She hesitated for a few seconds, then the story came rushing out of her. "Percy's been having nightmares. Really bad nightmares. He's been waking up every night, _screaming_ , and I'm the only one that can calm him down. We've tried drinking nectar before sleeping, having me next to him all night, and even _mortal_ techniques. I just... I don't know what to do. Nothing's working." She looked at you helplessly, an expression so foreign on her normally collected face that you had to blink twice to make sure you saw it correctly. "You're the daughter of the god of Dreams. Can you help?"

Oh.

 _Oh._

It made sense, after all. With everything he'd been through, he was bound to have nightmares. How had you not noticed it? It was obvious. He looked so tired during his sword lessons, and every one of his smiles seemed forced. You could've done something. You could have offered your help before it became a problem. Now it was too late, and Percy was suffering. You felt disgusted with yourself.

But with that came a newfound determination. You wanted to help him get better. This was _your_ area of expertise; you knew what to do and how to do it. You were (not to brag) the Morpheus child with the most control over your powers, and the oldest. If you couldn't, than who could? It would have to be you, no matter what.

You nodded. "I think I can."

She breathed a sigh of relief, and all of a sudden, pulled you into a tight hug. You froze. "Thank you so much," she murmured, and just as quick, released you as if nothing had happened. "But there's one condition; you can't let Percy know that you're helping him. He refuses to accept any help. And I doesn't want others to know of his sleeping problems. So, if you can, try to be discreet."

You barely managed to nod again before she was out of your cabin, leaving the door swinging wide open. Slowly, you relaxed once more, until the realisation of the situation hit you.

What exactly had you gotten yourself into?

(~)

From there, night came quickly. Annabeth had told you earlier that Percy had a fixed sleeping schedule; he always went to bed at 10:15, directly after the campfire sing-a-long, and usually fell asleep around 10:30. So, you were lying in bed waiting nervously until the minute hand hit the 30 minute mark. Your siblings were asleep already, which was why you were staying as silent as possible. If they woke up, Percy's secret could be exposed, and you _really_ didn't want to have to deal with a furious Annabeth.

A few minutes later, and it was time. You let out a long, slow breath, trying to calm yourself before you entered his dream. You knew what you would be seeing would be terrifying, if Percy Jackson woke up screaming because of it. But you needed to steel your nerves and get on with it if you wanted to help him.

You inhaled, and broke the barrier between reality and dream.

 _The first thing you noticed was the heat. The air was scalding. You hissed with pain as your arms broke out in angry red rashes. Every breath you took rattled, the sulfurous air making it sting your lungs. You were sweating up a storm, but the sheets of sweat on your body evaporated the second they were exposed._

 _But in a split second, the temperature dropped to freezing, the air becoming colder and thicker. You shivered, yet at the same time your skin was_ burning _from the sudden climate change. Your teeth chattered noisily and you rubbed your arms in an attempt to warm them up but also get rid of the pinpricks of fire all over them._

 _Once your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you could see your surroundings. You were in some sort of forest. Branch-less black trees soared into the sky, disappearing among the dark fog. The ground was smooth and pale, almost like ice coated it._

 _A shout startled you from your thoughts, and you turned to see Percy, Annabeth, and some giant with wild white hair surrounded by a dozen winged hags with brass talons and glowing red eyes. They were attacking the trio furiously, snarling and slashing with their claws._

 _The first thing you did was hide behind one of the thicker trees. Percy could_ not _see you. In demigod dreams, the dreamer is still conscious, so should he realise you were in his dream, things would escalate badly._

 _Once you were sure that you were well hidden, you allowed yourself to peek out from behind. What you saw horrified you._

 _Percy was swinging his sword at each monster that launched itself at him, and with each kill, he grimaced in pain. Blood drenched his shirt, especially on both sides of his rib cage and was dripping from almost every point on his body. His eyes were solid and terrified, but his gaze was focused elsewhere._

 _"Annabeth!" he shouted desperately. You shifted to see Annabeth, stumbling around with her arms straight out in front of her as though she were blind. "Annabeth!" he shouted again._

 _However, she seemed to not hear or see him as she continued to walk in circles. "Percy!" she cried out. "Where are you?"_

 _"I'm right here!" He sliced through another monster and doubled back in pain, clutching his stomach. "Please, Annabeth!" he croaked._

 _Annabeth shrieked as she stumbled into a tree, stabbing at it with a rock. "Why did you leave me, Percy?"_

 _"I didn't! Come on, Wise Girl!" Percy pleaded. When that didn't work, he whirled back into the monsters, snarling. "Take her curse away!" he snapped._

 _They cackled in response._ Yes, indeed, take her curse away we shall, _they hissed._ _And they started to move toward Annabeth, talons extended eagerly._

 _Perry's furious expression shifted into one of horror. "What are you- No- no get away from her! Get away! ANNABETH!" he screamed, and they pounced._

 _Up until this point, you had been watching, entranced yet horrified by the actions taking place. Percy's anguished screams were what broke you out of your spell._

 _You shook your head, tearing your eyes away from the gruesome scene before you. You needed to change the dream into one of happiness, and that required concentration. Especially on a dream as terrifying as_ this.

 _You closed your eyes and started imagining the changes. The forest became the one back at camp. The giant disappeared altogether. The mass of monsters attacking Annabeth morphed into one very playful Mrs. O'Leary. Annabeth's screams of pain changed into laughter as the hellhound licked her face and clothes. All the blood and wounds on the two of them faded away, as did the heavy aura of death._

 _You watched as Percy slowly realised what had happened, that it had all been a nightmare now changed to a dream. He looked at Annabeth, who was now trying to push the giant dog off her, without much success. And he started to laugh, even when Annabeth threatened to eat all his mom's cookies if he didn't help her._

 _You sighed in relief. You did it. You made his nightmare into a good dream, one he probably hadn't had in quite a long time. It made a tinge of pride force it's way into your chest and glow brightly, knowing you had done something nice for the person you admired most._

 _However, you knew you had to leave. It was his dream. You couldn't interfere any more. As you prepared to open the rift between dream and reality, a sudden shift in the dream made you pause._

 _You looked up, and with growing horror, saw something that terrified you more than anything you'd seen today;_

 _The dream was changing back into a nightmare._

 _Before Mrs. O'Leary could start eating Annabeth, you hurriedly set the scene back to what you'd envisioned earlier, then staggered back and sat down heavily._

 _It wasn't possible. That shouldn't have happened. Once a dream was changed, it couldn't revert back to its original state. That wasn't how it worked._

 _The only way for that to happen were to be if somebody else were fighting your changes as you made them, but who...?_

 _You glanced up again and had to quickly wrap several strands of the dream around the scene for it to turn back._

 _Every time you turned around, the dream started to change. And you didn't know who or what was causing it. So, you decided, until you did know and found a solution, you would have to stay in Percy's dream for the rest of the night._

 _And that you did. You stayed all night to make sure that the dream wouldn't turn back to a nightmare. The only time you left was when you felt Percy waking up, to return to the real world. You opened up the rift and jumped through, but an uneasy feeling stayed with you as you did._

(~)

You awoke with a gasp, sitting up suddenly in your bed, then falling back down again with a groan.

You felt like complete crap, even with sunlight brightening up the already luminous white cabin. Your eyes felt heavy and threatened to close, but that was to be expected considering you spent the whole night fighting an invisible foe.

Rubbing your eyes, you glanced at the clock. 7:32. That gave you enough time to go the bathroom and get changed. Hopefully, splashing some cold water on your face would wake you up.

By the way, it did not.

You made your way to breakfast, feeling grumpy and miserable as hell. One of the downsides to being a child of Morpheus was that you needed to dream or at least sleep well every night in order to feel rested, that of which you did not do. You plonked yourself down at the Morpheus table, wished for a glass of water and pancakes, and began eating.

"Hey, (Y/N)? You okay?" You looked up from your food into the faces of two worried kids sitting across from you. Your siblings, Rex and Charity.

Rex was a tiny, fiery redhead with a bubbly and sweet personality that made you want to hug him as tight as you can, but was also the sassiest 9-year-old you've ever met. His freckles and high-pitched voice would make anyone melt, though you learned the hard way what a bit of cuteness can really hide.

Charity was the exact opposite. She had long, silky blond hair and foggy grey eyes that always looked like they're staring at something into the distance. She seemed to float as she walked, constantly in a dream-like state, and when she spoke, her voice held a faraway time to it, as though she was speaking to you but wasn't as the same time.

You loved them both.

Today, however, you were not in the mood to deal with them, or anybody. You just wanted to sleep and be done with the day. You signed and dragged a hand across your face. "Yeah, I'm good, just tired. I'm pretty sure a Hypnos kid played a prank on me. I feel like I haven't slept a wink." You felt bad lying to them, but you couldn't tell them about Percy.

They nodded in understanding. Well, Rex did. Charity was staring at something behind you. You assumed she had zoned out again, until a voice sounded from behind you.

"(Y/N), can we talk?" It was Annabeth.

You nearly fell backwards in surprise, but managed to control yourself (while glaring at a snickering Rex) and turned around in your seat. "Yeah, sure." You got up to follow her as she walked to the Athena cabin.

The second the door closed behind you, Annabeth's face broke out into a grin and she hugged you tightly, much like last time. This time, however, you hugged back, albeit a bit awkwardly.

"Thank you _so_ much, (Y/N). You have no idea how grateful I am." She gave one final squeeze before stepping back, still grinning widely. "I don't know what you did, but it worked. Percy woke up normally this morning, and told me he felt really rested. He looked really happy."

You tried to smile back, but you knew right away that it came out more like a grimace. You yawned and rubbed your eyes. "No problem."

Her smile vanished, mouth curving down into a concerned frown. "Are you alright? You look really tired."

You hesitated to tell her. After all, she had looked so happy a moment before. Then you went and ruined it with your terrible acting skills. But then again, she deserved to know what was going on with her best friend.

"I've... got some bad news," you said dejectedly.

"Oh," Annabeth murmured. "Of course. Of course there's bad news. We never get a break." She sighed. "Lay it on me."

Feeling even guiltier, you told her of how the dream didn't stay the same, and how you believed there was another force at play, watching as her frown deepened with every point.

When you were finished, she didn't say anything right away. She simply stood there, staring at you, as you grew more uncomfortable under her gaze. Eventually, she said, "So, what are you going to do now?"

You really only saw one option, even though that option was the one that would cause you the most mental pain. "I suppose I'll have to keep manually changing his nightmares until I can figure out what's happening."

Annabeth hesitated. "But then you'll never get any rest."

Although that was true, you could see in her eyes how much she wanted you to keep helping him. You could see how badly she cared for him like a sister would to her brother, how she hated seeing him in such agony. She would do anything to help him, because he'd already been through so much.

"I would not, that's true." You bowed your head down, not daring to look at her. "But he deserves it," you finished quietly.

"Thank you," Annabeth whispered.

As you turned to leave, however, she grabbed your arm to ask one last thing. "What does he dream about? He won't tell me, but I need to know." Her eyes were pleading, desperate.

You closed your own, turning the dream over in your head. "It's this forest of trees with no branches. You and him are there with some giant with wild white hair, and are being attacked by some harpy things. But you're blind and can't see or hear Percy. The harpies go after you and... I changed the dream at that point." You opened your eyes.

Annabeth had gone as pale as Nico di Angelo. She obviously recognized the dream, and it terrified her. She drew in a shaky breath and let it out slowly. "Ok," she whispered. "Thanks." She let go of your arm, and you left to allow her to organize her thoughts.

To be honest, all you wanted to do was collapse in bed and sleep for the rest of the day, but unfortunately, you had lessons to attend. You sighed and set off for your first one, sword and shield with Clarisse. You mentally prepared yourself to get your butt kicked.

And that you did. By the end of the lesson, you were sporting multiple new blooming bruises, aching ribs, and several cuts around your arms. You weren't good at sword fighting at all, and Clarisse did _not_ hold back. Your choice of weapon was a staff, smooth and graceful, a perfect fit for a delicate person like yourself. Even though you were better with throwing knives, you would turn to your staff in times of need.

Throughout the rest of the day, you proceeded to be thrown off a Pegasus, make a fool of yourself in front of the Hermes cabin by constantly losing your shoe (or did they keep stealing it?), and nearly seared half your face off on the climbing wall. You were so tired, because not only were you technically awake the whole night even though you were sleeping, you had been over-using your powers. You almost fell asleep in Arts and Crafts and would have dropped a scorching hammer on your foot had someone not poked you.

All in all, today was turning out to be absolutely _a_ _wful_. You dreaded to repeat it again tomorrow.

The only good part of it was that you had Swim and Beach time with the nereids, so you could skip and go to your bed. And after that was an hour of free time, so you got 3 whole hours of sleep before dinner. _Also,_ you mused _, if I skipped my lesson and the campfire after dinner, I could use that time to work out what's happening to Percy. Yes, perfect._

You nodded your head firmly to yourself. That was a good plan.

"Uh, (Y/N)? Who are you nodding to?"

You sighed. _But it will be a long 4 hours until then._

(~)

Once dinner rolled around, you felt much more cheerful and less gloomy than earlier after your nap. You went to eat, finishing your food in a hurry, and left without so much as a word. You wanted to get this thing done with so that Percy would stop having nightmares as soon as possible. Luckily, Annabeth had allowed you access to the Athena kids' library, and you took full advantage of that permission. Grabbing several books about nightmares and demigod dreams, you made your way back to your cabin and plopped yourself down in a chair, opening the first book and starting to read.

Three hours passed by a lot quicker than you had expected. And in that time, after getting through one very, very thick book, you learned basically nothing. Any useful information was just what you had already gathered and inferred, like how a dream could only change if the dreamer or someone else in the dream forcefully changed it. You managed to find just one piece of info that could help, a single line at the end of the paragraph;

 _If a demigod is having a recurring nightmare of the same thing, it could mean that something bad will happen in relation to it, a glimpse of the future of sorts. Use the nightmares to try and prepare for what they are indicating will happen. If the nightmares are constant, but of different scenes, another being could be altering their dreams in order to cause the nightmares. In these cases, the demigod should be able to gain control over themselves and change the nightmare to a peaceful dream. However, if the demigod is unable to do so, two things may be happening; One, the being is so powerful that it has complete control of the demigod's dreams, or two, the nightmare is happening from somewhere within the demigod._

You scowled at the book and snapped it shut. That had been a complete waste of time. All you got was more questions instead of answers. Plus, you still had 3 books, all quite thick thank you very much, to get through. You groaned and flopped down backward on your pillow.

Glancing sleepily at your clock, you noted it was... _Holy Hera!_ It was already 10:28! You scrambled to shove all the books underneath your bed (sorry, Athena kids) and turned your light off, plunging your room into darkness.

 _This was going to be one long night..._

(~)

Unfortunately, you were right. You felt like a zombie once you 'woke' up, yet adrenaline was also strumming through your veins at the same time. The nightmare had been even worse than the night before. However, that's not why you were pumped up. No, you discovered something.

You spent a good portion of the night delving deep into Percy's nightmare. You went straight to the core of it, which was normally not a good idea, since seeing the raw roots of a nightmare could make a demigod go insane. Thankfully, you were skilled in your powers, and just barely managed to avoid going crazy.

But the core of the nightmare horrified you so badly, you almost threw yourself out of his head to escape it. Normally, nightmares and dreams develop in the brain, so you expected yourself to be led up to his head. But this nightmare... this nightmare...

Why did this nightmare take root in his soul?


	2. Save Him, and Hurry

_Previously..._

 _You spent a good portion of the night delving deep into Percy's nightmare. You went straight to the core of it, which was normally not a good idea since seeing the raw roots of a nightmare could make a demigod go insane. Thankfully, you were skilled in your powers, and just barely managed to avoid going crazy._

 _But the core of the nightmare horrified you so badly, you almost threw yourself out of his head to escape it. Normally, nightmares and dreams develop in the brain, so you expected yourself to be led up to his head. But this nightmare... this nightmare..._

 _Why did this nightmare take root in his soul?_

* * *

You locked yourself up in the cabin that day. Curtains were drawn around your bed and books littered it, all having bookmarked spots or opened up to random pages. You held one in your hands, eyes scanning the words quickly. A large cup of coffee stood on the bedside table, along with an uneaten plate of food. Your staff lay uselessly against the bunk, something that almost never happened. You loved your staff. For it to be disregarded so carelessly meant something was very wrong.

You yourself were a mess. Your hair was unbrushed and sticking up in wild directions. Your eyes were bloodshot from staring at books for so long, barely blinking. You were still wearing your pajamas, all wrinkled from restless sleep. The book you had was in your lap, your shoulders slouching over it in what looked like a quite uncomfortable position.

And, yes, you _were_ uncomfortable. You _were_ absolutely exhausted. But your needed to keep reading. You needed to find some sort of information on how a nightmare can develop from someone's _soul_. Because that was dangerous. If the nightmare kept coming every night, darkness could start to grow, eventually overtaking the person completely. It was a miracle that Percy was able to hold on as long as he did.

As the day progressed, people came to check on you multiple times, all worried and trying to convince you to get out of bed. Rex came. Charity came. Even Annabeth came, who was the most concerned of all. Not for you, though. For Percy. Every time, she insisted you tell her what was wrong, but you told her not to worry instead. She would storm off angrily, yet always come back with the same question.

You slaved over the books all day. Every once in a while you would groan and rub your eyes tiredly, or yawn and stretch your back. Then you would resume your reading as though nothing had happened, reading faster than before in order to make up for those few seconds you may have lost.

By the time it was 8:00 pm, you had read 6 of the 7 books on your bed. You yawned and reached out for the final one, but a hand on your arm stopped you.

You looked up blearily. It took you a few seconds to process the face, then you asked, "Annabeth?"

She was looking at you with a worry you hadn't seen before on her. Her eyebrows were knitted together and her lips were pressed together in a thin line. She gazed at you, and it took you that time to realise what exactly was different this time.

She looked worried for _you_.

Annabeth tightened her hold on your arm in order to turn you so that you faced her. You obeyed without a fight; you were too tired to argue. "(Y/N)," she began softly, "You don't have to kill yourself over this. I'm sure Percy can go one more night with a nightmare. But please, get some sleep."

You rubbed your eyes and blinked to make them focus on her and not a double image of her. It didn't work. For a while, you were silent, then registered the fact the Annabeth had told you something and you were probably supposed to reply, considering she was looking at you expectantly. Your mind turned the words over in your head until you understood them.

You shook your head rapidly. "No, actually, he can't. You don't understand."

"Then make me understand!" Her sudden outburst made you jump. You were wide awake now. She ran a hand through her hair and paced frustratingly in front of your bunk. "You haven't been telling me anything all day! I know something's wrong, okay? But you don't have to hide it from me! If something is wrong with Percy, I want to know!"

You ducked your head in shame as red coated your cheeks. Perhaps it hadn't been the best idea to not tell her, but... "I just didn't want you to worry," you whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Well, you did a fine job at that!" Suddenly, she stopped, and sighed. "Listen, (Y/N), just please tell me. You know I can handle it."

Even then, you hesitated a second until you saw the death glare she was sending you. You swallowed and gathered up your nerve. "Most nightmares take root in somebody's brain. Some can develop in the heart, depending on the situation, from what I've learned. With Percy, though... Percy's nightmares are happening in his soul."

Her glare faltered. "And what does this mean?" she asked warily.

You bit your lip. "Well, it means that something is very wrong, coupled with what I saw the first night. If the nightmares keep coming, darkness can grab ahold and then take over Percy. Since he's been having these nightmares for a while, it has most likely grown big. I couldn't say _how_ big, though. I... I was too afraid to get a good look at it last night." You rushed on, not wanting to stop or else you wouldn't start again. "Remember when I told you someone is causing the nightmares? They obviously want to hurt him, knowing about the darkness, though since Percy has many enemies, I couldn't say who..." Sighing in resignation, you said, "I'm sorry. I haven't been able to find more out. And most of these books have been utterly useless, not even a mention of a soul nightmare, so..." You trailed off when you noticed Annabeth was staring wide-eyed at you. "Annabeth?"

She made no move to indicate she had heard you. Had she even been listening? You laid a hand on her arm. "Annabeth?"

This time, she reacted, jolting backward. She was visibly trembling. Your eyes went wide at the sight. It was scarier to see Annabeth looking genuinely afraid than angry, because it rarely happened. Basically never. But whatever you had said terrified her.

She swallowed thickly. "(Y/N), what if he's been having these nightmares since... since Tartarus?"

You frowned, not understanding. You opened your mouth to ask why that mattered, then realisation struck. "Are you saying-"

"There's a reason Percy dropped his sword when we met Tartarus. And why I snapped out of it first. Tartarus must have been doing something to him during that time... what if he implanted darkness into his soul?" Annabeth looked so pained, her eyes _pleading_ with you to deny it, to say that could never happen.

Unfortunately... it was the only possibility.

Her shoulders slumped when you didn't say anything. "No..." she whispered. "No..."

You started to panic- you couldn't have Annabeth breaking down. She was what kept Percy going through the day, the only person that could help him during his nightmares. If you couldn't solve this, Percy would need Annabeth more than anything.

"Hey!" you grabbed her arm again, more forcefully this time. "Hey, I'll figure this out. I _will_ stop the nightmares. You guys have been through too much already. Nobody deserves this, much less Percy. Don't worry, I..." You swallowed, preparing yourself for what you were about to say. "I swear on the River Styx I will stop them."

Her head shot up in alarm as thunder boomed. She latched her fingers on your shoulder and shook you, as if shaking you would allow you to take back your oath. "(Y/N)! You just- what if you can't? It's _Tartarus_. He's way stronger than you are! You- you-"

"I know." You cut her off. "I know. But losing Percy will be worse than if something happened to me. Besides, Tartarus has probably forgotten about it. He probably thinks that Percy is already dead. I'll be launching a surprise attack. Plus, I can get help from my siblings and the Hypnos cabin. If we all gather together, our power will be stronger."

She did not appear convinced. "Still, (Y/N)-"

"I swore on it, Annabeth. I promised. Because I mean it."

A tear slipped down her cheek. "I- (Y/N), you-" Her voice cracked and she pulled you into the third hug she's ever given you. "Thank you so much, (Y/N). Thank you so much," she murmured over and over. You brought your arms around and held tight to give her the comfort she, and you, needed.

However, it was a good thing that she couldn't see your face. Should she release you and look into your eyes, she would see the absolute terror at the thought of doing something you may die from. Sure, you hadn't seen how big the darkness was _exactly,_ but the few seconds you had stared at it in terror...

You shuddered to think of actually fighting it.

The idea that _yes, you are most likely going to die_ had never been given to you before. During the wars, all you did was put wounded demigods to sleep along with some Hypnos kids in order to take them out of the pain. You'd never been in any situation risky enough to be in danger of dying. Now that it was presented to you, you were petrified. You didn't know what to do, how to deal with it.

But you knew one thing: if dying meant saving Percy, you would give up your life without hesitation.

(~)

You went outside for the first time today an hour later for campfire.

The second you stepped outside your cabin, your siblings appeared in front of you, demanding to know what was happening and why you had stayed inside all day. You felt sort of guilty for worrying them, like you had done to Annabeth. That hadn't been your plan. It was just that you couldn't have had anybody knowing, lest they try to stop you to find out about Percy.

It seemed like that plan was out of the window, though, since you were about to tell a hoard of kids about him. With Annabeth's permission, of course.

"-so you're gonna tell us!" You blinked, realising that you had zoned out and Rex and Charity were glaring at you with all of their puny selves. Rex was the one who had just finished talking, and with shock, you saw that his huge eyes were tearing up, threatening to spill. You felt even guiltier, now.

"I'm sorry, guys," you murmured. "I didn't mean to worry you."

"Well you did!" You looked at Charity in surprise- it wasn't like her to shout.

"I know, I know, it's just... I've been working on something and Annabeth didn't want me to tell anyone, so-"

"I don't care!" Rex cried out. "I want to know why my big sister has been torturing herself over a stupid project!"

Looking at Rex's lips quivering with held back tears, you let out a small sound of guilt, "Oh", and opened your arms as they ran into them, with the tears streaming down Rex's face. They slammed into you and pushed you back into the cabin, causing you to fall backward and end up hugging them on the ground. Rex buried his head into your shoulder and you gently ran your fingers through his hair in a soothing motion, while holding Charity close with your other. You murmured your apologies over and over, trying not to cry yourself.

You hadn't meant to cause this, you really hadn't. It was just what you saw in Percy's soul... it terrified you so much you _had_ to find a solution, quick, or it would grow bigger and bigger. If Percy turned dark, you didn't know if you would be able to handle it.

It was a few minutes later that Rex finally stopped crying and sat back, rubbing his eyes to get rid of all the water. Charity herself wasn't crying, it wasn't like her to, but she was staring at the ground, her hair covering her face so you couldn't see it. You gently tilted her head up until her eyes were locked with yours, then grabbed her's and Rex's hand and squeezed slightly.

"I'm sorry, Rex, Charity," you said again. "Honest to gods, I didn't mean to worry you, I was just so scared that I could barely... I didn't want to think about it. I just needed to work."

Immediately, Rex's face scrunched up in worry and Charity cocked her head questioningly. "What happened?" he asked.

"I... This will take a while." You launched into the story from the very beginning, with Annabeth telling you about Percy for the first time. You retold what you saw in his dream, in his soul, watching as their eyes grew wide with every passing second. It took 20 minutes to tell everything, what you saw and what you learned. By the end of it, they were the most awake they'd ever been, especially Charity.

Rex was quick to ask the first question. "So, what do you need us to do?"

You smiled internally. Of course he would jump into the problem right away. "Well, I'm gonna need you guys to help. You're going to join me in entering his dream. I'll guide you to his soul, and we'll have to do everything we can to banish the darkness. You don't have to though, guys. It's Tartarus. He could kill you if he realised you were messing with his creation," you said seriously. "So if I say to leave, you leave."

"Like heck we'll leave you-"

"Of course we'll help you, (Y/N)," Charity assured. "We promise to leave if you say so, right Rex?" She stared right at him until he squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze and shouted, "Okay! Okay, geez," grumbling unhappily.

You broke into a grin, even though you were basically asking them to fight against a deity greater than the gods themselves. "Thank you so much, you guys. I love you."

"We love you too, (Y/N)."

(~)

The first thing you three did was pay a visit to the Hypnos kids. They wouldn't be at the campfire, considering they were all constantly sleeping. You invited yourself in, making a beeline to Clovis.

"Clovis!" you shouted, smacking him lightly on the cheek. "Wake up!"

It took a few more smacks until he finally woke up, blearily opening his eyes and burrowing even further under his covers. "Five more minutes," he grumbled.

You would be having none of that. You snapped your fingers under his chin and forced him to sit up, saying it was a matter of 'great urgency'. "Wake up the others as well."

He yawned and groggily stood up to shake his three other cabinmates awake. "Guys. (Y/N) needs something. No, I don't know what. She won't let me go back to sleep until she tells us."

Tapping your foot impatiently, you checked your watch which read 9:31. You only had an hour to explain everything once more and to form a battle plan. "C'mon Clovis, hurry it up. It has to do with Percy. He's in danger," you snapped. Your sleep deprivation has made you a very impatient girl, and you were fed up with waiting. You wanted to take action, and take action _now_.

Surprisingly, mentioning Percy woke him right up. He turned to you, eyes actually open all the way. "Percy's in danger?" he whispered.

You nodded. "Yes, so hurry it up. We only have an hour."

30 minutes later (the explanation took longer since they had to keep waking up the others) left them sitting in a circle on the ground, all very serious, an amazing feat for the Hypnos kids. "So, we're going to need to combine our powers if we want any chance at defeating the nightmares," you finished.

Aria, one of the others, nodded her head in agreement. "Yes, this would appear to be the best option. The question is, though, how? If we throw in too much power, we run the risk of overloading ourselves and Percy's soul. Even the slightest bit too much could destroy us all."

Sighing, you said, "I know. That's why I'm asking you guys: if I say to go, you go."

Clovis turned his head sharply to me. "What? No, (Y/N). You're one of us. We're not leaving you to die."

You shook your head slowly. "No, you have to. I- I swore on the River Styx that I would banish the darkness. I think the only way to do this would be to die." Thunder boomed.

Gasps escaped each person as they stared at you in horror. Rex balled his hands into fists angrily. "No way, (Y/N). You can't let yourself die for some person you've barely talked to!"

"Rex, listen." You grabbed his hands in your own. "The demigod world will fall apart with Percy Jackson. He's one of the greatest demigods to have ever lived. And I'm basically nobody. You can't compare me with Percy. He's way too important to lose."

"But-"

"Rex, promise me that you will leave if I say to. All of you, swear on the River Styx," you said quietly. "Please. For me, if not for yourselves."

Nobody looked like they wanted to, but one by one, they all dejectedly swore the oath with tears gathering in their eyes. Rex wouldn't meet your own and Charity was silently staring at you, while Clovis, Aria and Demitri looked at you sadly, them being old enough to know that you were most likely not going to come out alive.

You let out a long, shaky exhale. "Right. Now, let's see if we can't figure out a game plan for this."

(~)

It was 10:25. You were all gathered in the Morpheus cabin, sitting quite like how you were earlier. However, this time, the silence was deafening, and every now and then someone would look up at the clock and quietly note the time, as if you were all waiting for Thanatos to arrive come 10:30.

Which, in a way, you were.

Despite the calm exterior (you hoped) you were displaying, inside you were a complete mess. Your heart was pounding crazily, the fear of what was to come gathering in the pit of your stomach and making you want to throw up. Your balled up hands were trembling and your breaths came out in short, quick pants. It was like you were back in mortal school, taking your end-of-the-year exams that you didn't study for.

Except this time, what you didn't prepare for was your death.

You ran the plan over again and again in your head. _Get to his dream. His soul and dreams are connected because of the darkness plaguing them. Find the connection and slip into his soul. Slowly start feeding strands of good memories and thoughts into him._ Oh, and one extra detail you didn't tell them; _the power won't be enough to defeat Tartarus himself, much less overload Percy's soul like they thought. When tired, tell them to leave, and_ -

"It's time," Charity whispered. You broke away from your thoughts as you all simultaneously raised your You noticed each person was looking at you; some with sadness, some with anger.

"Okay." You took a deep breath. "You guys ready?" A chorus of mumbled 'yeps' and one 'never can be, never will be' answered you. "Okay. Okay." You swallowed. "Join hands." Two sweaty palms slid into your hands, and with a tinge of relief you noted that they were just as nervous as you. You closed your eyes. " _Go._ "

As one, your subconsciousness' all traveled through the dream waves in the air, them following you as you led them to Percy's. You knew how to get to his dream already, being able to recognize it from a distance.

You stopped, your being hovering a hair's width away from it. You didn't want to touch it, you really didn't. _But you have to._ Gathering your nerves, you stretched out a strand of your subconscious, waited a long second, and pierced the darkness.

You were in.

You were in the same place as last time; Tartarus. It had the same feel, which was how you identified it, but the scenery was completely different. However, you didn't waste time to gawk and stare, tugging on Charity's now human hand which was still holding on tightly to yours. When she didn't respond, you registered that her hand was shaking in your own, and you looked over at her, seeing that her whole body was trembling as she stared in front of her.

Sweeping your eyes around you, you noticed that everyone was in a similar state. You realised with a start that they hadn't been here before. They hadn't been subjected to the feeling of _death_ and _evil_ from simply standing in such a horrid place. They were absolutely frozen in terror.

You tugged harshly on Charity's hand again. "C'mon!" you hissed. "We need to get to his soul! Before the nightmare grows even stronger!"

She seemed to snap out of it and stared at you with wide, terrified eyes. It took a second, but she managed to nod and turned around to tug on Rex's hand. When he was focused, he tugged on Demitri's and it continued until everyone was looking at you and not their surroundings.

"Okay. Everybody with me?" you asked. They nodded and you released Charity's hand to turn around fully. "Good. Now, what's gonna happen is that there is a connection between this dream and his soul. It's how the nightmares are affecting both. We need to find that and get in. Got it?" More nods. "Okay. But remember, don't let Percy see you no matter what."

They looked a lot more alert now. A hard look masked the fear they truly felt. You imagined that you looked the same. "So, Charity and Rex, you guys are gonna stay near Percy to make sure nothing strange happens to the nightmare. I've told everybody what it looks like already. Don't change it to a dream, though, because we can't have _him_ suspicious."

You saw Rex open his mouth, fully prepared to shout how that wasn't fair that they had to stay. However, you held up your hand before he got a word out. "No, Rex. This is not the time to argue. You know very well that seeing the stems of a nightmare can make you go crazy, and I'm not gonna let you take that risk. We're the oldest, and most experienced. Okay?" Your face softened when his dropped. "Okay?" you repeated, more gentle this time.

He nodded dejectedly. "Okay," he whispered.

You straightened up. "The rest of us are going into his soul as said before. Is everybody ready?" No one answered you. You yourself weren't even ready.

Sighing, you said, "Let's go."

You split into your respective groups. Charity and Rex hid behind a thick cluster of trees. Clovis decided to go north, Aria went west, Demitri went south, and that left you with east. Your eyes scanned every bit of your surroundings for anything that seemed strange or suspicious. When things started to fade, you realised you were at the borders of the dream and turned around to where you came from. There was nothing here.

Luckily, the others had success. You were slightly confused as to how you had managed to find it so quickly, but then remembered that it was the dream world. Minutes here were hours in reality.

"(Y/N)!" Clovis shouted.

You were instantly by Clovis' side, the others following you. "Did you find-" A gasp escaped you. "You _did._ " The opening was far, far away from the original scene. It was in this hut built from bones, mud, and drakon skin, surprisingly cosy for Tartarus. As they ventured in, their eyes were immediately drawn to the raging bonfire in the middle of the room, since that's exactly where the portal was placed. It sucked in all light like a black hole, making shadows appear in every corner and crevice.

None of you said a word. You stood there, staring at the opening. You wanted nothing more than to turn around and march right out of this dream, but a person was counting on you to bring their friend back alive. You had to do this. You _had_ to.

You took a deep, trembling breath in order to steel your nerves. The fear in the pit of your stomach was growing fast. "Alright, guys," you whispered. "I'll go in first. Clovis, you go in last." You fell silent once more. What more was there to say? _Ready?_ As if anyone could possibly be ready.

With a single, sharp movement, you jerked your hand forward before you could change your mind. It touched the portal, and with a blink, you were gone.


	3. Happy Memories Conquer All

_Previously..._

 _You took a deep, trembling breath in order to steel your nerves. The fear in the pit of your stomach was growing fast. "Alright, guys," you whispered. "I'll go in first. Clovis, you go in last." You fell silent once more. What more was there to say? Ready? As if anyone could possibly be ready._

 _With a single, sharp movement, you jerked your hand forward before you could change your mind. It touched the portal, and with a blink, you were gone._

* * *

You didn't open your eyes until you felt that everyone was behind you. However, the second you did, you truly understood why you hadn't wanted to come.

It was terrifying. A healthy, kind soul- a _hero's_ soul- should be light. Lighter than the sun. It should shine bright with all the victories brought to the good side, with all that was sacrificed for the sake of the world. Not because Percy wanted to, but because his loyalty was so strong that he would do anything for the ones that he loved. He should have the soul of an angel with all that he had done for the gods.

He should, and yet he didn't.

His soul was, to put it simply, black. There was something swirling in the pit, slithering and curling around his soul as though to protect it, but you knew it was actually a cage of shadows. The darkness was eating up any source of light to be found. If a strand managed to seep through the cracks, the inky blackness was there to stuff it back in and re-seal the hole. All and any light was sucked in if it even attempted to escape. Something evil didn't want anyone to help Percy.

You slowly stepped in a circle, getting a sense of what it looked like from all angles. You noticed that there were no happy memories floating in sight. Contrary to what people thought, the happiest memories stemmed from your soul, not your heart or brain. That was the same for bad memories, since instead of the happy memories, all you saw were the nightmares that he went through.

"Clovis," you whispered. He didn't answered. "Clovis." You turned to see all three stuck in some sort of trance. They were each staring at a memory, not blinking or reacting in any way. Their faces were blank and emotionless. Immediately, you snapped your fingers in front of their faces, bringing them back to the present. "Don't get pulled in," you hissed. "You could stay there forever." They nodded, wide-eyed.

They were understandably terrified; so were you.

Your plan needed to be put in action as quickly as possible though. There would be time for therapy later. "We need to start sending happy memories, okay? Your strongest ones. Any including Percy himself or someone he cares about would be the best, but anything with enough emotion works. Focus on love, happiness, pride. Positive emotions."

They nodded once more, but none moved to form one. You drew in a shaky breath. "Here, I'll try one."

You closed your eyes, thinking of the strongest happy memory you had of Percy.

 _You had seen him one day, sitting on the dock, feet dangling the water, sword laying far away from him. His friends, the Seven and Nico, were all sat next to and around him. They all seemed so relaxed. The worries and stress of all they had been through wasn't evident in the way they laughed and joked around. They were acting like normal teenagers, not soldiers who had fought in two wars._

 _Leo said something inaudible, and Percy gasped in mock shock. "How dare you, Leonidas Valdez!"_

 _"Come on, you know I hate being called that," he grumbled._

 _Piper laughed at his expression._

 _"Yeah yeah, laugh it up Beauty Queen."_

 _Her laughing ended abruptly. The others stopped talking to watch this exchange that would surely turn out for the worse for Leo. "Oh? And_ you _know I hate being called that." Piper tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Whatever shall I do? Ah, I know." She grinned evilly. "I think you need to cool down!"_

 _SPLASH!_

 _She had shoved him into the lake._

 _That started an all out war. They all quickly got to their feet, determined to be the last one standing dry. Eyes narrowed, feet planted firmly in the ground, they guarded themselves like hawks. If people didn't know them they would assumed they were enemies. They waited for who would make the first move, all the while ignoring Leo who complained as he treaded water._

 _It was Annabeth, jerking quickly to the left and pushing an unsuspecting Hazel into the water. She let out a gasp as the cold water hit her skin and pulled her under. She surfaced sputtering, and stared, betrayed, at Annabeth. She sent her an apologetic look._

 _Leo swam up beside her and patted her arm consolingly. "It's okay. We'll get through this together." The grin he suddenly sported looked a lot like Piper's and left Hazel slightly wary. "We'll get revenge. Come on." He pulled Hazel inch by inch to the dock as to not attract any suspicious glances._

 _Meanwhile, there were still six left on the dock. Nico was glaring at anybody who even dared to look at him. But since the majority were obviously considering pushing the light boy, he sighed and shrugged off his jacket as to not get it wet. Unfortunately, that gave Frank the perfect opening to shove Nico, who let out a yell and went down._

 _There were now five. Piper and Jason gave up on being cautious and ran at a random person, trying to wrestle them into the water. Piper threw herself at Annabeth while Jason (believe it or not, this actually happened), took one step toward Percy and completely failed, slipping on a wet spot and into the water. Percy nearly fell off himself from laughing. He quickly regained his composure, although he was struggling to not burst into laughter again._

 _Frank and he ran into each other, planting their feet into the ground and struggling to not get pushed back. It was only a few seconds when Frank flicked his eyes at Hazel, who waved and blew him a kiss. His face turned red, and he lost everything there. Percy twisted him sideways, and out he went._

 _Piper and Annabeth were still going at it. However, Annabeth was slowly winning, pushing Piper bit by bit to the edge. When her foot hit an empty space, she toppled backward and fell with a splash._

 _That left Annabeth and Percy. He was smirking. "Come on Wise Girl, you know you love me." She smirked back at him. "I know I do, but that doesn't apply in times of war." With a yell, she charged Percy, who realised that he had made a grave mistake._

 _What happened next was completely lucky for Percy, and completely unlucky for Annabeth. She felt two hands grab her ankle and give a swift tug, resulting in her being pulled into the water. When she surfaced, she was subject to a dying-of-laughter Percy and a giggling Hazel. She glared at Hazel, who gave her the same apologetic look Annabeth had given her._

 _"Karma sucks," Hazel laughed, "Doesn't it?"_

 _Percy was officially the victor. He whooped and pumped his fist in the air. "Haha! You all thought you could take on the King of the Sea in his own element? Well, sucks to be you because you_ can't! _Haha!" He continued gloating at his friends in the water, who unbeknownst to him, were actually grinning right at him. They had noticed something he did not- where was Leo?_

 _All of a sudden, he was tugged from his ankle much like Annabeth. He let out a- very manly- shriek and crashed into the lake._

 _He opened his eyes to see everybody laughing at him as Leo grinned, and he grinned himself. He started laughing, and soon enough, they were just having fun in the water instead of on the dock. They looked so happy._

You opened your eyes, the memory blazing in your mind. It had taken only a few seconds to grab ahold of it. You focused on the happiness, on the joy and love that each friend was radiating, because they were more than just friends; they were family.

With that final thought, you concentrated in order to pull the memory from your mind and into a solid ball of light in your hands. It was tiny compared to the all-around darkness. Hopefully, it wouldn't be sucked in. You suddenly thrusted your hands up and out, letting the memory explode into his soul.

For a while, nothing happened. You were getting discouraged by the second. What if the darkness was just too strong? It was too horrible a thought, to think it had all been for nothing. But out of the blue, you saw the memory float by, blazing with pure white light that signified the happiness oozing out of it. A surge of hope plowed through you. Maybe this would actually work.

The others were staring in amazement at what you had done. A good memory is worth ten bad ones, so the light was already filling up his soul. "Come on!" you exclaimed. "Let's get some memories out!"

They started doing it themselves. Aria released one of training with Percy. Demitri had one of playing with his friends out of camp. Clovis gave one of his dreams. Each one burst out and into his soul, slowly brightening it up.

You continued as well. You let your heart and mind swell with all the happy memories you've ever had, and you started releasing them, one by one. Soon, there were more happy memories floating around than there were nightmares.

For a while, it seemed like it would actually work. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins, blood pumping and making you forget the fact that you were in somebody's soul. More and more light was shining through as well as cracks appearing on the cage of shadows. If this continued, it would only be a few more memories before the cage burst. Perhaps you wouldn't have to do _it_. Perhaps you wouldn't have to complete the last step of your plan.

But of course, you were demigods. Nothing, _nothing_ ever went according to plan. With no warning, the shadows started pulsing, fighting back. A good memory floated by the wall. It got consumed, turning into a black shadow. You froze for a second, then doubled your effort. "Hurry!" you shouted. "He knows we're here! We don't have much time! We need more memories!"

You worked faster and faster. You were giving out memories at nearly triple the speed you were doing before. It was exhausting, and you were tiring quickly. It didn't seem to be working, though. The darkness was too strong. _He_ was too strong.

A desperate glance shared between you all left you with one last option. Your strongest emotions. Memories that you had been saving for the final blow. You focused on all the feelings you had ever felt for Percy. Anything and everything that would help.

 _Your first time seeing him, being absolutely floored by his looks._

 _The first time you spoke and the amazement and shyness that made it hard to force out words._

 _Every single time he looked at you and how your heart started beating erratically._

 _When your hand and his touched, sending tingles up your arm that you never forgot._

 _The smile that made you melt whenever it was directed to you._

 _The wanting to help him that blazed inside you when you were first approached by Annabeth._

 _Everything._

The emotions raged inside you. It was more than any of the other memories you had given up to this point. This had to be what broke the barrier. It had to work.

With a shout, the memories burst from your head, filling up his whole soul with light. You were blinded for a moment from the brightness, and when it faded, nearly everything had been overtaken by the light. His soul finally looked like it should have for his whole life: peaceful, pure, and light. You stole a hopeful look at the cage of shadows binding his soul, needing so bad for it to have worked.

There were cracks.

There was not a single bad memories in sight.

... There were no holes.

The despair crushed you when you realised it had not been enough.

"No," you whispered, grief consuming you. It hadn't worked. The cage pulsed twice as strong as before, quickly repairing the hundreds of cracks that had been left. If that hadn't worked, then no small memory would help. This required something more.

This required... a sacrifice.

"Clovis," you called out. He turned his head to you, knowing immediately what you were going to say. He tried to protest, but you beat him to it. "It's the only way, Clovis. Please. Leave."

He bowed his head, silently agreeing. The still-open portal was swirling, the darkness keeping back through it. "Try and come back to us, (Y/N)," he whispered. The look you sent him said it all. His face fell. He turned to the portal, gesturing for the others to follow him. "Come on, guys. She told us to leave."

They cast sorrowful faces at you which you tried not to look at. They left one by one. You nodded once at Clovis just as he disappeared. You were now alone.

The adrenaline from earlier was fading. You were now very aware of how your heart beat like a hummingbird in your chest, of how you could barely move let alone breathe from the fear of having to confront such a deity. _At least I don't have to see him in person like Percy did..._ The thought gave you hope. If Percy had done it, you could do it to! _I won't let myself be stopped when I've come so far._

You took a deep breath. "Tartarus!" you shouted. "I know you're there! I know you can hear me!" You tried to make it sound like you weren't ready to piss yourself.

A chuckle resonated through the cage. The slight confidence you had gathered was instantly erased. _Why, puny demigod, I'm surprised you've gotten this far. It's a shame you'll never stop this. It's too powerful. And you're too weak._

You couldn't speak. The fear was overwhelming, complete terror. You knew that you should say something, anything, but your voice wouldn't work. You took in another shaky breath. _Come on,_ you thought, _Speak! You only have one shot at this!_ If you could, you would have growled in frustration, since nothing was working to force a word out.

He laughed. _I love your fear. It's intoxicating. So much is coming from you... It tastes almost like the fear of those two demigods... what were their names? Ah, yes, Perseus and Annabeth._

Those names sent a jolt through your body. Perseus... _Percy_ was who you were doing this for. You were trying to keep him alive, to bring back happiness into his life, because he deserved a chance at happiness after everything he had been through. That was the whole point of this journey you took. That was the reason why you were prepared to do whatever it took for somebody you had barely spoken to. That was why you were facing the most terrifying being in the universe. You were doing this for Percy, and you would not let anything stand in your way of finishing it.

You opened your mouth. "I am going to- to get rid of all this. I will stop y-you."

He- it- chuckled again. _Really? Because as I recall, you just used your strongest memory, and even that couldn't break through._

"I haven't used myself, yet."

There was no response for a few seconds. When he did reply, his voice was low and dangerous, warning bells ringing in your ears. _I do believe you don't know what you are talking about._

You could feel yourself get more confident. "Well, I think I do. The strongest memory is one made in the present. And this is one memory that is sure to never be forgotten."

 _What?_ The cage pulsed quicker. It was determined to take over the light. _You're speaking nonsense._

You didn't answer this time, since you were concentrating. You gathered up all the emotions you had felt for Percy just like last time. Unlike last time, though, you brought them to your own soul, not your mind. You let them grow bigger and bigger in there, stronger and stronger until you felt ready to burst from all the emotions radiating off of you.

Tartarus must have felt it too, since he growled angrily. _Whatever you are doing will not work, demigod. Nothing can defeat me. I am more powerful than the gods and titans combined! You are nothing compared to me!_

"It's a good thing you aren't here, then. Only this darkness is. You can't do much from down there, and I think you're realising this too." You actually weren't that sure of it. It was a complete guess. It was only a distraction for Tartarus to keep talking and not notice how terrified you were and how much power you had already built up.

He roared in anger. _I am the most powerful being in this universe! Nothing can possibly even attempt to over-power me, much less a little demigod! I am Tartarus! I am-_

What he wasn't was perceptive, since he didn't take into account the fact that you had started glowing slightly. The emotions were so strong that light was coming off of every inch of your body. A strange tug appeared in your gut as the power grew, getting tighter and tighter as it squeezed your core to its limits. You started shaking from the strain of controlling the raw power of love.

You interrupted the speech that was still going on by smiling and saying, "Goodbye. May you live with the knowledge that another demigod has out-smarted you."

He roared, and you exploded in a ball of light.

You were no more.


	4. Awake

_Previously..._

 _He roared, and you exploded in a ball of light._

 _You were no more._

* * *

 _What... what are those sounds?_

"She's almost... faded! Get... hurry!"

 _Why are they yelling?_

"Come on, (Y/N). Just... longer."

 _Who's (Y/N)?_

 _"_ Where... Hedge?!"

 _They're being too loud. I don't like loud. I want quiet. I want no noise._

"... sorry. So sorry."

 _I want to sleep._

(~)

 _Where... where am I?_

You were vaguely aware of... well, yourself. Your eyes were closed. You were lying down (or were you standing? You couldn't tell) on something soft. Your skin felt weirdly slimy and weighed on. You were probably in bed, just waking up. Everything felt heavy, and you couldn't bring yourself to do anything but stay lying there. It was too hard a movement.

It took a few minutes for you to peel your eyes open, which you then immediately shut. It was really bright. _What time is it?_ you wondered groggily. You must have missed breakfast.

It was a tad easier to open them this time. You looked at the ceiling. It was most definitely not a domed shape. That meant you weren't in your cabin. You then darted your eyes to the side. There was a small table next to you with various items on it, like a glass of nectar and a bowl filled with brown gunk.

You internally sighed. _Infirmary._

Clarisse must have really done you a number this time. She had never put you in the infirmary and you had never gone there after a session with her. Usually, all you felt was sore and beaten. Bruises and cuts weren't enough of an injury to go to the infirmary, so you would just heal them with some ambrosia yourself. Maybe this time you hadn't been paying attention.

A dull pounding suddenly appeared right between your eyebrows. You decided to stop trying to figure out what had happened. She probably hit you in the head or something.

You opened your mouth to shout for someone. Maybe Will, who was normally the main healer here. Or perhaps Chiron, since the infirmary wasn't that far away from where he resided. It really didn't matter, you just wanted someone to explain how you had gotten here.

 _Hey, anybody-_

Wait, what? Your mouth wasn't opening. You tried again, but to no avail. No matter what you did, your muscles refused to cooperate. You strained to move it again. When that didn't work, you switched to your arm. Nothing. Not even your finger. _Maybe you just need to wait a little, yeah?_ The problem was, you already had been waiting. You'd been thinking for a while now. So, why couldn't you move?

That's when you started to worry. You couldn't move, couldn't talk, couldn't do anything except move your eyes around. You were essentially... paralyzed.

With that conclusion, you flew into a full-blown panic. Your breaths came out short and quick. You could feel your heart beat rapidly as it fought to keep up with your breathing. You struggled and strived to feel just a single twitch of your body. You didn't like the feeling of not knowing what was going on with your own body. _Why can't I move?!_

The floor creaked. You stopped all attempts to move at that point, listening. There were footsteps coming in your direction. _Thank the Gods, now somebody can explain what is happening._ You calmed down with the knowledge that you would soon learn why you were crippled.

A person appeared in the corner of your eye. It took a few seconds, which alarmed you, to remember her name. _Charity._ She froze at the sight of you, then relaxed. She heaved a great sigh, walking heavily over to you.

Once she was in your line of view, you saw why she was dragging her feet. She looked exhausted. She kept yawning and rubbing her face. Her eyes were sunken and red with black bags under them. Her hair was wild from being unbrushed, no longer the lush silky mane she normally had. She looked nothing like the dreamy Charity who always had a far-away smile on her face.

Charity sat at the foot of your bed. She smiled sadly. "Hey, (Y/N)," she said. "Guess what? I controlled someone's dream for the first time. Clovis let me try on him." She gave a short, breathy laugh. "Apparently he dreams about this girl he likes. I changed it so that he slipped in front of her and got embarrassed. It was hilarious." Even though it was an exciting experience for her, she sounded flat, completely uninterested with what she had accomplished. She normally did sound like that, with her head in the clouds, but today it felt off, somehow. Her voice was just... emotionless.

That wasn't what you were focused on, though. You were more concerned with getting her attention. She wasn't taking any notice of how you were awake, despite the fact that she was looking right at you! _What the hell, Charity?_

She dropped her gaze, playing with her blond hair. "Oh, and Rex says hi. He's in archery practice right now, so sorry he couldn't come. Believe it or not, that horrible shot is getting better and better every day, now that he actually tries." She flicked her eyes up for a brief second then returned them to her lap. "I suspect you have something to do with it."

The panic was coming back. She was talking nonsense. She was acting like you- like you were _dead_ or something. Yet you weren't. You were right there, looking at her, listening to her. You weren't _dead_. Why else would they keep you in the infirmary?

"You know, sometimes when I come here and your eyes are open, I get that little bit of hope that you're finally awake. As in, completely conscious of everything around you. And then I remember what Will said about patients like you1." Charity peered into your eyes as if she were looking for something.

You tried with all your might to portray some sort of emotion in your eyes. You tried to show the panic and the fear and the tears of frustration that wanted to leak out. You tried your hardest to do anything, to just flick a toe so she would hear the covers move. _Come on, come on, come on! I'm awake! I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm awake!_

Suddenly, her eyebrows furrowed. _Yes, come closer, look._ She leaned forward, frowning concentratedly. "(Y/N), can- can you hear me?" _Yes! I can!_ "Blink twice for yes." It took some difficulty, however you managed to do it. Her eyes widened. "Are- are you actually awake?" You blinked twice. A grin split her face. "I have to go get Will!" She was out of there like lightning.

 _Finally!_ You were so relieved you wanted to cry. For a minute there you were worried she wouldn't see what you were attempting to show her. If she had left without any recognition of you being awake you probably would have had a heart attack. You were seriously scared of what was happening.

The sound of multiple footsteps reached your ears. In came Charity, followed by Will, Rex, Annabeth _(why Annabeth?),_ Clovis, Aria, Demitri ( _why are the Hypnos kids here?)_ , and... Percy.

Despite the fact that him being there made your stomach feel like a butterfly war was happening, Percy was the one that confused you most. You and him had never interacted for any other reason than for sword practice and the odd 'hey' if you ever came face to face. There wasn't any reason for him to be here right now. _Maybe he had been there when Clarisse hit my head?_ It was kind of sweet, though. He was looking at you with such worry and grief that you almost felt bad.

You looked up at them as they stared at you, breathless. "(Y/N)," Will said, "Blink twice if you can hear us." You did so. "Are you fully conscious?" You blinked twice again. You heard someone whisper "thank the gods". "Can you move? Blink once for no." You blinked once. "Can you talk?" No.

Everybody was grinning. Rex was holding back tears. Charity had her hands to her mouth. For once, the children of Hypnos were wide awake and in the present. Annabeth looked ten times more relaxed than when she had come in. Percy looked so happy that you were awake.

But you? You were downright pissed that no one was telling you anything. The whole purpose of getting Charity's attention had been to get some answers. Right now, you were more confused than ever. You blinked rapidly to get their attention.

Will asked another question that silenced everyone. "Do you remember why you're here?"

It was as if time stood still. Everybody waited with baited breath. You could practically feel the hopefulness radiating off of them. They were all hopeful for _you_ that _you_ could remember something that somehow employed all of them, something that seemed to be crucial to your future. You held off on your answer for as long as you could, though when you realised that you were just getting their hopes up you gave them exactly what they didn't want to hear.

You felt absolutely horrible when you slowly blinked once.

They all deflated as though the previous joy had never happened. They looked absolutely crestfallen that your memory had been altered in such a way. It was as though something huge had happened that you didn't remember. _How could I be so important that it included Annabeth and Percy?_

Annabeth cleared her throat. You flicked your eyes over to her. "You mean, you don't remember me asking you to help with Percy's nightmares?"

A blink.

"What about when you figured out it stemmed from Percy's soul?" Rex asked.

Another.

"Not even when you went _into_ his soul?" Clovis pleaded for you to remember. "When you faced Tartarus' power and... and _sacrificed_ yourself?"

One mo-

 _Wait._

No. No, this one was familiar. There was just something blocking the memory from your head. You knew what he was talking about, just couldn't figure it out. It was at the tip of your mind, ready to present itself. Only bits and pieces floated around in your head, yet those couldn't possibly be memories, right?

 _I was... in his soul? Because nightmares were created there? That's impossible. No demigod has ever- Wait. Wait._ It was coming back to you. _I remember this. Something about books and sleep? Exhaustion? I went to Clovis for help at one point... no, I went to his whole cabin for help with my siblings. What did I do that for?_

It did not go unnoticed by the others that you had not blinked at them yet.

 _His soul. Clovis said we went into his soul. Because of his nightmares. That's why I went to them for help. We got in, and it was... it was completely black. Cage of shadows. I remember. We gave memories, yes, and it was working for a while but then Tartarus realised what we were doing so I tried to give my strongest memories and the darkness was fighting back and I told them to return while I stayed and I blew up in light and-_

 _Oh my Gods._

 _I_ did _sacrifice myself._

 _I remember everything._

The full memories hit you like a tidal wave. All you had needed was a little push to recall them. Your eyes widened as you re-experienced the dark, pitch black evilness of his soul, and the absolute terror of having to give your life to save Percy. You remembered how Annabeth had first come to you for help, how the first night you were so, so tired after you had stayed up to prevent the nightmare from changing back. You remembered swearing on the River Styx after finding out about his soul. You remembered Tartarus' voice, something that was sure to plague your own dreams for a while. You remembered how you had exploded from the emotions and...

Did you actually save him, though?

You flicked your eyes around, realising you had not given an answer yet. Looking at the hopeful faces, you were happy as you blinked twice. They all basically deflated, shoulders drooping forward from the relief. You hadn't even noticed how strung up they had been. _Now_ it made more sense why the Hypnos cabin, Annabeth, and Percy were here.

Speaking of Percy, he was the only one to not have a look of joy on his face. Actually, he looked strangely _scared_ that you had remembered. His face was white, and his hand was gripping a table so tight it was shaking. His wide eyes stared back at you, unmoving, unblinking, frozen in the gaze.

They noticed you were staring at one spot, and turned to see Percy. Annabeth was by his side instantly. "Percy?" she murmured. "What's wrong?"

He just shook his head. "I have to- I have to go," he croaked out. He stumbled his way out the infirmary, Annabeth almost supporting him herself as they left together.

"We'll go too," said Clovis, gesturing at the others to follow him out. He didn't seem completely focused on what he was saying, though. His eyes kept flitting back to where Percy just left through. "Will is probably going to explain a lot of things right now." Will nodded in agreement. Charity and Rex both flashed you one large grin before disappearing behind the door.

Will turned back to you and must have seen the alarm in your eyes. "Percy will be okay, (Y/N). Let's just focus on getting you back to health. I'll bring you up to speed on your condition. The general idea is that you've been in a coma for about three months now."

If you could have, you would have screamed. Three _months_? Three whole months? No wonder everybody had been worried as hell.

He talked about how Clovis and the others had brought you here, completely panicked, since you were no more than a wisp of bright mist in their hands. Apparently, they had seen light shoot out of the portal and raced back to see if you were still alive. His soul was bursting with light, all coming from a single memory that was in the process of forming. They quickly realised that _you_ were the memory and worked to reverse the process. Eventually, they managed to get at least an outline of light of your body.

At first, they had thought you were dead, but parts of you were solidifying then fading away again, which meant that at least your brain and heart were still working. The Apollo kids chanted every single healing hymn they could think of. They called for Coach Hedge to do his nature treating on you along with several other of their best healing dryads and nymphs. That's what the brown gunk on your arms and in the bowl was.

It felt like it took ages before you were solid. There were moments where you would solidify completely and some where you sent them into a frenzy because you wouldn't stay substantial. It was a complete guess-and-check when it came to how you were doing. Will told you that you would not be able to use any powers for a very, very long time until he was absolutely certain that you would not fade away again. You had exhausted all your powers and went well past your limits.

He explained how it would continue from here on out. You will slowly regain feeling in your limbs and try to use them. "Even something as small as moving a finger will be a huge accomplishment," he said. It will be a long, arduous journey, though ambrosia and nectar should help and speed up the process to much faster than what a mortal would have to go through. You will still have trouble with supporting your limbs, although at least you will be able to move them. Then you will progress to regular eating habits instead of just ambrosia and nectar.

Will left the last for worst. He hesitated before speaking again. "It's going to be really hard, (Y/N). Harder than you think. You've probably forgotten how to walk, move, and eat. Reading is going to be like you're back in grade one. You're basically going to have to re-learn your life." He sighed and looked at you with such a despaired look you wished you could hug him. "I'm so sorry, but I can't do anything else. The rest will have to be up to you."

Your mind was reeling with all the new information. Before you could make any sense of it, a sudden wave of exhaustion came over you. Will must have noticed it as well, because he said, "You should probably sleep. Don't worry, you won't go back into a coma. You'll wake up in maybe 10-15 hours."

You accepted his advice and closed your eyes. You were not looking forward to the future at all.

* * *

1\. Apparently, coma patients have to ability to appear awake while they are still very much in a coma. For example, they can open their eyes, interact with others, follow orders (ex: "blink twice" "look here"), and even walk around, but during these times they are still unconscious and may not remember any of this when they finally are awake for real. I don't know if this happens with all coma patients or if it a rare side effect. Check #5 of this article describing someone's experience with this for more info.

Hiya! Hope you're liking the story. Just to inform you, the next update might take a while. I just missed a week of school because of me being sick so I have a LOT to catch up on. What sucks is that I have science and apparently we took a heck ton of notes and got homework so most of my time will be taken up with trying to understand what they mean! Anyways, that's just so you won't be expecting anything anytime soon.

Ciao!


	5. Confusion and Improvement

_Previously..._

 _Your mind was reeling with all the new information, but before you could make any sense of it, a sudden wave of exhaustion came over you. Will must have noticed it as well, because he said "You should probably sleep. Don't worry, you won't go back into a coma. You'll wake up in maybe 10-15 hours."_

 _You accepted his advice and closed your eyes. You were not looking forward to the future at all._

* * *

When you woke up, everything was blurry to your half-awake eyes. You blinked a few times to get the effects of sleep out of your head. It took a few minutes for you to recall why you weren't in your bed in your cabin and what on earth you were doing in the infirmary. Once you remembered, you wearily closed your eyes again and quickly became frustrated when you realised that that was all you could do. You couldn't move, talk, eat, nothing. You could only blink and sleep. You internally sighed as you remembered Will's last warning to you before you fell asleep.

 _"It's going to be really hard, (Y/N). Harder than you think. You've probably forgotten how to walk, move, and eat. Reading is going to be like you're back in grade one. You're basically going to have to re-learn your life."_

You groaned. Or at least, you would have had you been able to. Opening your eyes again, they were immediately drawn to a figure sitting patiently on a chair next to your bed. They seemed to be waiting as you oriented yourself. However, since you hadn't completely woken up yet, you didn't put a name to the face right away. You took in their features lazily; curly blonde hair, super tanned skin, camp necklace with a heck ton of beads... wait.

 _Annabeth?_

She was slumped forward on the chair, arms crossed and head hanging on her chest. Her breaths were slow and even. She wasn't waiting, as you previously assumed; she was actually sleeping, although you couldn't imagine what had possessed her to fall asleep in such an uncomfortable position. She was sure to have a major crick in her neck when she woke up.

Speaking of waking up, you were wide awake now. Your mind was running a million miles a minute with all the questions that were popping up. Why was Annabeth here, of all people? What about Rex or Charity or even Clovis? Why weren't they here? Rex and Charity were your siblings, for Hera's sake! Why would they send Annabeth to keep a watchful eye on you? _Not that she's doing that at the moment, though,_ you thought, amused.

Since Annabeth didn't appear to be waking up anytime soon, you settled for waiting for someone else to (hopefully) walk in. You had just noticed how parched you were. Water would be incredibly appreciated to your dry throat. In the meantime, you decided to test yourself and see if you were _really_ paralyzed (a fact that you didn't want to think about too much).

You strained to move your leg, for starters. Unsurprisingly, nothing happened. You had been expecting that, even though a part of you was hopeful and didn't want to accept your situation. _Maybe that's too big of a body part,_ you thought. Next, you tried your hand, and when that didn't work, your finger. You tried each of your fingers and toes, and to your disappointment and frustration, none of them responded to your cues. You were just as motionless as before.

You supposed that you shouldn't expect to magically become better. After all, you _had_ been a wisp of a memory a mere three months ago. _Progress will be slow,_ you lamented. And you weren't happy about it. You hated doing nothing more than anything. When you allowed yourself a few minutes of being alone with your thoughts, you were in danger of losing yourself to your fatal flaw: daydreaming.

You knew it sounded stupid. It _was_ stupid. But you couldn't change it. Basically, what happened was that you would get lost in your thoughts. You would become unable to distinguish between reality and what was going on inside your head. Maybe you'd be thinking about what to do for your free period, like hanging out with Rex or Christa from the Apollo cabin. All of a sudden, you'd believe that you are actually doing what you think of, instead of just planning it out. You could be in a daze for hours if someone didn't snap you out of it. Just like how Percy's fatal flaw, loyalty, didn't seem like it was a real fatal flaw at first, yours seemed absolutely ridiculous.

However, you were far from getting pulled into your thoughts today. You were too jittery and strung up to do anything except get worked up about your current predicament. There was no way you would be relaxing in this state. Especially since you were still thirsty. Your eyes darted around the room. When would someone come and give you some water? Your throat was so itchy you wanted to claw it out. You were also slowly becoming more and more frustrated. _Where_ were those Apollo kids that were supposed to heal you? They couldn't just leave you alone, right? There was nobody in the room! Nobody except for-

"(Y/N)?"

You flicked your eyes over to where Annabeth was sleeping- well, had been sleeping. She was wide awake now. She stared at you with her calculating grey eyes. They showed no emotion, although you noted that they were giving off slightly less of a "I can kill you with a single hand" vibe than usual. You hoped that was a good thing.

A few seconds of silence passed. The corners of Annabeth's lips quirked up in a half-smile. "Morning," she said, sounding like she hadn't had a wink of sleep in days.

Since you didn't have any way to respond, you settled for blinking twice in greeting. Her smile faltered, and you could have sworn that she looked almost _guilty,_ but dismissed it as the look passed in a split second. Again, silence took over until Annabeth spoke her next words. It wasn't like you'd be saying anything, anyways.

"Are you thirsty?" You blinked rapidly. She chuckled slightly, although it was void of any emotion. "I'll go get some water for you." She stood up and walked away, disappearing behind the corner. It was only a minute before she reappeared, clutching a tall glass of water in her right hand. She set the glass down on the table next to you in order to first pull you up to a sitting position. Your head lolled around, limp as it hit the wall behind you. _Ow_.

Annabeth winced. "Sorry!" She gently leveled your head and parted your lips. Lifting the cool glass to your mouth, she let some of the liquid slip out and down your throat, soothing it immediately. _Ahhh,_ you sighed. _That's the good stuff_. Slowly, she continued tipping it forward until all the water was gone and your throat no longer parched. You didn't even care (that much) about how awkward it was and how much you hated being treated like a baby. You simply rejoiced in the knowledge that at least one of your wishes had been fulfilled.

The head of the Athena cabin sat back down on her chair. For whatever reason, she wouldn't meet your eyes. They stayed firmly focused on her hands in her lap. In fact, if you thought back to earlier, you realised that she had been avoiding your gaze the whole time. Was she okay? Was she... was she mad at you?

 _Oh gods_. What if she was mad at you? What if she was mad about how there were now several people that knew about Percy's previous situation? She had told you to keep it to yourself. You hadn't, instead going to your siblings and the whole Hypnos cabin for help. _So much for keeping it secret._

You really hoped you hadn't upset her. She and Percy were very close friends and Annabeth was protective of him. There was a good chance she thought you had betrayed her trust. Plus, she had a pretty strong reason to be angry. You just prayed that she wasn't off-the-charts angry because she could be terrifying when she wanted to and having her as an enemy was something you wanted to avoid at all costs.

Luck didn't appear to be in your favour, though.

"Why would you do this?"

Shocked, you shifted your gaze back over to her. To your growing fear, Annabeth was now standing up, fists clenched and eyes shining with the ferocity of someone who was prepared for battle. Her previously empty look was exchanged for one of fury. You mentally prepared yourself for the lecture of the century, although the scolding you expected was not the one you received.

"Why would you sacrifice yourself?"

Her wide eyes matched your own. She wasn't going to berate you for telling others about Percy's nightmares? She was instead... mad at you for sacrificing yourself? _But I saved him,_ you thought with bewilderment. _Why would she be upset about that?_

She ran her hands through her hair and pulled at it in an anxious way. "Why? You almost killed yourself for someone you don't even know all that well! Percy isn't your brother or cousin or anything, so _why did you try so hard?_ You didn't have to do that. You _shouldn't_ have done it. You knew that you were going against a force that you couldn't beat. It's _Tartarus_ , (Y/N)! He's one of, if not the strongest, most powerful deity there is. You knew that! And you still... you still went. You knew that there was a chance you wouldn't survive. It was a suicide mission. I never asked you to do it. You should have told me before! I would have stopped you!" She scowled angrily to herself. "I just wanted you to help him! I didn't want... I didn't want _this_!" She gestured helplessly with her hands at you, at how you were motionless.

Annabeth breathed heavily, apparently done with her shouting. You didn't know how to react other than with confusion and shock and she seemed to not know how to react either. Her eyes darted around as though searching for her next victim. Eventually, as her breathing evened out (and so did yours, since your heart had been pounding crazily) she slowly relaxed her stiff posture and sunk wearily down on the chair again. She rested her elbows on her knees and put her head in her hands. You heard her sigh heavily, then watched as she raised her head to meet your eyes.

You were still staring wide-eyed at her. You tried to not let the fear you had of her show, but it was quite difficult. After all, you had just endured a scolding like never before, by someone who could and would attack you without breaking a sweat. You must have completely failed in your attempt because all of a sudden the previous anger that shone in her eyes switched to worry and... guilt?

Before you could even begin to make sense of that, she opened her mouth and your thoughts fell silent, wanting to hear what she had to say.

Annabeth inhaled sharply. "I'm sorry."

 _Wait, what?_

That was it. You were beyond the point of confusion. First she had acted indifferent to you, then a shouting match occured, and now she was... _oh no._ To your growing panic, she looked scarily _broken_. A huge difference from the nonchalant mask she had on before. Her wide eyes were brighter and shinier. She was watching you with such a guilty, defeated look that you had a hard time believing this was the same Annabeth that had gone through Tartarus. And it was scaring you.

"Oh my gods." She brought her hands back up to her face to cover it. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. You don't deserve that. I just... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I... I caused this. I'm the reason you're paralyzed. I'm the reason you were in a coma. I- I'm so _so_ sorry." You grew even more worried when her shoulders started shaking.

Unfortunately, despite how much you wanted to comfort her, say it was okay and it wasn't her fault, you couldn't. You were bound to your bed and stripped of your speech. You could do nothing as Annabeth broke down in front of you, apologizing over and over for something that she had had no control over. After all, you were the one that agreed to it in the beginning and made the decision to face the problem head on. If anything, it was more your fault than hers. She shouldn't feel this guilty. She was Annabeth, the analytical genius that helped saved the world twice. How had you managed to reduce her to this... this mess?!

"I'm sorry, oh gods, I'm sorry." She continued croaking out apologies as you watched on helplessly. "I'm so sorry..."

You _had_ to say something. It didn't matter what; it could even be a simple wheeze. Anything to show Annabeth that you _would_ get better and you wouldn't let yourself wither away in this bed. You wanted to give her hope that someday you would be able to walk and move as you did before, and it would start with your voice. You wished it with all your willpower. You strained and strived to first open your mouth, just a small parting of the lips, so that a sound could be let out. You pushed yourself harder than any of your other attempts to move because this one mattered so much more. You pleaded with the gods or whoever was listening to answer your simple request.

"..."

"..."

" _Mnh..."_

Annabeth's head whipped at lightning speed to you. Her body was rigid and still. She immediately ceased her mumblings. Her wide eyes were no longer filled with guilt, but with shock and what you yearned to see blossom: hope. "(Y/N), did you just speak?" she asked carefully. However, you saw the growing hope in her eyes, most likely because your mouth was still parted.

You struggled to produce another sound, despite how it caused a sharp, rough pain at the back of your throat. "Nt fult," you managed. You prayed that she would understand what you tried to say.

Her eyebrows furrowed together. "Not fault?" she wondered out loud. "Not fault... wait, are you telling me that it's not my fault?" She seemed reluctant to believe it.

Instead of responding orally, you blinked twice. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and the previous guilt ventured back into her eyes. "But (Y/N)... I'm the one that started it. I'm the one that asked you for help."

"No." You refused to allow her to continue putting herself down like this. "No."

Her shoulders drooped forward. "But-"

"No." It took all your willpower to even force out that single syllable. Your strength was slowly fading and your sight was starting to get blurry. You were so tired after saying only five words. But you needed to make Annabeth believe that you didn't blame her.

She stared at you, not speaking. You felt your eyes beginning to close involuntarily. All you wanted was to sleep. "Taherd," you mumbled. You wanted to warn her just in case she thought something was wrong.

"Tired?" You blinked twice. "Okay, (Y/N)."

Your eyes finally closed and your mouth sealed shut again. Before you fell asleep, though, you thought you heard her say one last thing.

"Thank you, (Y/N)."

* * *

So? How was it? Was it worth the month wait?

Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. As I said in the previous chapter, I was sick and missed the first week of the first semester, so I had a lot of catching up to do. It took me 2 weeks for me to finally catch up (since I have my worst subjects all in this semester). I was planning to type up this chapter during that weekend, and you want to know what happened? I got sick again! Go immune system! Despite all that, I'm truly sorry for the long wait. I'm a huge hypocrite, since I hate it when authors take forever to post (unless they have a reason) so I apologize for that.


	6. Hard Times

_Previously..._

 _"(Y/N), did you just speak?" she asked carefully. However, you saw the growing hope in her eyes, most likely because your mouth was still parted._

 _You struggled to produce another sound, despite how it caused a sharp, rough pain at the back of your throat. "Nt fult," you managed. You prayed that she would understand what you tried to say._

 _Her eyebrows furrowed together. "Not fault?" she wondered out loud. "Not fault... wait, are you telling me that it's not my fault?" She seemed reluctant to believe it._

 _Instead of responding orally, you blinked twice. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and the previous guilt ventured back into her eyes. "But (Y/N)... I'm the one that started it. I'm the one that asked you for help."_

 _"No." You refused to allow her to continue putting herself down like this. "No."_

 _Her shoulders drooped forward. "But-"_

 _"No." It took all your willpower to even force out that single syllable. Your strength was slowly fading and your sight was starting to get blurry. You were so tired after saying only five words. But you needed to make Annabeth believe that you didn't blame her._

 _She stared at you, not speaking. You felt your eyes beginning to close involuntarily. All you wanted was to sleep. "Taherd," you mumbled. You wanted to warn her just in case she thought something was wrong._

 _"Tired?" You blinked twice. "Okay, (Y/N)."_

 _Your eyes finally closed and your mouth sealed shut again. Before you fell asleep, though, you thought you heard her say one last thing._

 _"Thank you, (Y/N)."_

* * *

The next time you woke up you were aware of not only an itchiness in your throat but a painful scratchiness. You cleared it several times, which only stung painfully instead of helping. You knew you needed water, although there was no one sitting around you like Annabeth had been yesterday.

 _Annabeth..._ That made you think about your conversation yesterday. Well, it was more of a one-sided exchange than a conversation. She was talking (and shouting) and you were just listening. The things she had said, though... you would never have expected what came out of her mouth. First the anger at you for sacrificing yourself and the rage that followed. Then when she collapsed to the chair and became someone who was most definitely not Annabeth Chase, analytical genius. She had become someone completely different, a shell of her former self. She had been consumed by guilt.

It came as a total surprise by how guilty she felt about your current predicament. It never crossed your mind that anyone would feel bad considering it had been your own choice. You remember how the apologies spilled out of her mouth, not ending until you had put a stop to it yourself. You didn't want to think about what could have happened had you not gathered the willpower to speak up. You remembered the broken, defeated look on her face, the look that scared you more than anything Annabeth could have said or done. You remembered how she kept blaming herself for your sacrifice-

A striking pain seized your throat, interrupting your thoughts. You glanced around the room and zoomed in on a glass of water next to your bed. _What did they expect me to do, grab it?_ you thought, annoyed. You continued staring at it, hoping that you were telekinetic and could make the water float over to you.

"What did the water do to you?" Will walked up to your bed, flashing you a smile. "Hey, (Y/N). How are you feeling? Anything hurt? Blink twice for yes, once for no."

You blinked twice. He frowned. "Where?"

 _What, did he expect me to just tell him?_ you thought, bewildered. _I can't just- oh wait..._ You remembered how yesterday you managed to force a few words out to Annabeth. Maybe you could try speaking again...?

You parted your lips slightly. "Throat," you wheezed. The rough, scratchy feeling came back tenfold and you grimaced slightly.

Will's eyes widened, then he broke into a large grin. "You spoke! (Y/N), this is great! The pain is because you're regaining feeling, so don't worry. Oh right, the pain. Here, have some water." He grabbed the glass next to you and tipped it down your throat. You gulped it down greedily until it was done.

He was still grinning at you. You wanted to grin back at him since he was practically radiating happiness, so you fought to quirk the corners of your lips up. It worked. If possible, his grin grew wider.

"I didn't expect such a quick response to the ambrosia and nectar. Wow. I need to write this down on your progress report- which you do have, by the way, to make sure you're healing at a moderate speed. I'll be back in a second."

He walked away, and you felt a sense of pride pushing away the despair that had begun to grow in your stomach. Perhaps this wouldn't be as difficult as you thought.

(~)

You were wrong. It was much, much harder than you expected.

The next three weeks consisted mostly of you getting your voice back. You were almost up to a normal volume, although it was still quite raspy. You also got back some feeling in your fingers and your face muscles. You were now able to tap things out and make facial expressions, which was a huge relief to you. Another thing Will was doing was slowly easing you into a regular eating habit, which had been screwed up after 3 months of nothing but ambrosia and nectar.

Unfortunately, despite all your progress, you still had to be put through _speech therapy._ Which was why you wanted to scream at everyone in frustration and feed them to a hellhound.

You developed a stutter. Which, in your mind, meant your speech was messed up. In scientific terms, however, it meant that the flow of your speech was broken up by repetitions (li-li-like this), drawn-out syllables (lllllike this), or random points where you couldn't force a sound out. You hated it. You would rather have never regained your speech than to be reduced to this.

Because of this, Will suggested speech therapy. He now sat down with you every day for half an hour, just going over words you both have noticed you had trouble saying smoothly and practicing different ways to help with your stutter. Of course, he wasn't a speech therapist, so he didn't know exactly what he was supposed to do, but you appreciated the time he put into helping you.

Or at least, that's what you thought at first. Now, you wanted to chuck yourself into the forest and wait for the monsters to come. You were that frustrated.

For starters, you had to pay way more attention to your speech than you ever had had to before. Normally, you would talk fast and think of words to string together on the fly. Now, you had to stop, think about what you wanted to say, then slowly talk. Even then, you would speed up and start stuttering again.

You and Will were practicing the names of people you knew. When you realised that you couldn't pronounce Charity's name properly, you were horrified. She was a person you loved. You couldn't botch up her name whenever you wanted to get her attention. Your pride would not allow it.

"Come on, (Y/N), try it again," Will encouraged you.

You sighed, considering you had been doing this for the past ten minutes. "Char _rrr_ ity." You groaned. The 'r's kept slurring together, no matter how much you concentrated. "Willlllll, it's n-n-not working," you said, frustrated and angry.

He gave you a sad smile. "Well, I did say it wouldn't be easy. You've just got to keep trying and not give up. Based on what I've heard, you don't seem like somebody that would give up easily."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "Based onnnnn what... you've heard?" you repeated. "Frrrrrom who?" You ignored the cringe you felt at your own speech.

"Annabeth, Charity, and Rex talked about how determined you were at the beginning, spending hours researching and reading up on topics related to Percy's situation... so much that you forgot about yourself." Will put his hands on his hips and stared you down. "You know that was extremely unhealthy and dangerous for your body."

You quirked up an eyebrow. "I didn't realllly have-have time t-t-to think about... myself durinnnnng that time." Will frowned, and you knew he understood the unspoken words that lingered at the end of your sentence.

 _How was I supposed to take care of myself when Percy could have died at any second?_

He swallowed thickly. "I know... just... don't do it again."

Before an awkward silence could settle over the two of you (because the gods know how uncomfortable that is) you quickly spoke up, asking a question that had been at the back of your mind for a while. You'd just been too afraid to actually ask and finally see _him._

"You know, about P-P-Percy, where isssss he? I haven't seennnnn him since... I w-w-woke up." You had been wishing to talk to Percy from the time you started to speak. He hadn't visited yet and you were a bit worried. You wanted to see if he was alright. Sure, Will had told you that you had saved him... _wait_.

Panic seized you, a fire breaking out in your chest. Now that you thought about it, the others had yet to inform you of whether or not you succeeded. What if you hadn't defeated the darkness? What if it was still living in his soul, growing ever bigger after your failure? Is that why nobody had told you? They didn't want to break the news to you? _Oh gods._ You gripped the sides of your bed, knuckles turning white with the strain. You looked at Will, who was staring at you with a concerned look on his face.

"(Y/N)? Is everything okay?" he asked, touching your hand lightly. You couldn't force out the words. You could only stare at him with wide eyes and a terrified expression you knew you were wearing.

"Listen, I'm going to go get Clovis..." He slowly started to get up and move away, but your hand shot out to grab his own before he could. "(Y/N)?"

"N-n-no," you whispered.

"Okay..." You could hear the confusion in his voice. He sat back down and held your hand, enveloping it with his two bigger ones. "(Y/N), what's going on?" he asked gently.

You swallowed thickly. Time stood still during the few seconds that you didn't blink, didn't say a word. You parted your lips. "D-D-Did I save himmmm?" you forced out. _Please don't say no, please don't say no,_ you prayed vehemently.

He blinked. "Is that what you're worried about?"

You glared at his nonchalant tone. "You n-n-never told m-m-me!" He should be taking this seriously! You were terrified!

Will held his hands up in a surrendering motion, laughing a bit when he did. "Sorry, sorry! Yes, (Y/N), you did save him. Clovis went back to make sure the darkness was gone. It's all back to normal."

Slowly, your breathing returned to normal and you closed your eyes, leaning your head back to touch the wall behind. You focused on your breaths and nothing else, trying to banish the thoughts that had crept in with the possibility of the shadows still being there. Despite Will laughing about it, you had been genuinely sick for a second there, panicked that Percy hadn't been healed. Because if Percy hadn't been healed, then the darkness was still there. And if the darkness was still there, then...

 _I'd have to go back._

You fought back the bile inching up your throat at the thought. That place, despite it being Percy's good, pure soul, had been ensnared by darkness, and it had terrified you. More than anyone thought. It _still_ terrified you and you weren't even there. Every time you allowed your thoughts to drift to that day, you were struck by extreme fear. You could hear Tartarus' voice in your ears, feel the tendrils of shadows lapping at your body. You remembered the paralyzed form your body took at the first word he spoke.

You shivered. If you ever had to return, you didn't think that you'd be able to overcome the fear once more. It was just too much... too much...

"(Y/N)?"

You dispelled your thoughts, focusing on Will and only Will. He was frowning at you. _I must have spaced out,_ you realised. _Damn it. My fatal flaw is taking over again._

"Sorry, (Y/N). I didn't think you were this worried." He touched your hand again, giving you an anchor to keep yourself in reality.

Letting out a shaky breath, you smiled. "N-N-No worries. What w-w-were we... talking about, ag-g-gain?"

Will's eyebrows furrowed together in thought. "Well, you asked about Percy, about where he was."

Your eyes lit up. "Right! Wh-wh-where issss he? I want t-t-to see him, see if he's... okay."

"Ah..." Warning bells immediately started ringing in your head, despite Will having just told you that Percy was perfectly fine. _You saved him,_ you told yourself, repeating it to calm your racing heart. _You saved him he's fine you saved him he's fine you saved him he's fine._

His blue eyes wouldn't meet your own. "Like I said, he's okay, but... he's not up to leaving his cabin right now." He held his hand up right as you opened your mouth, ready to bombard him with questions. "Let me explain first. For starters, he's been sleeping long hours ever since his dreams have become peaceful, and thank the gods because he's needed it. So most of his day is spent being unconscious. Secondly, he's trying to adapt to the sudden energy spike that appeared ever since Tartarus' hold on him disappeared. He admitted that he'd been getting more and more tired ever since Tartarus, and not just because of the lack of sleep. Annabeth suspects that Tartarus had been draining his energy constantly and it would have only been a matter of time before he dropped, dead tired. So, now that the drainage is gone, he's been feeling much stronger and it's hard to suddenly feel that powerful and contain it."

Will stopped talking and finally looked you in the eyes, waiting for you to say something. For a few seconds, you took the time to absorb everything he had just told you. It made sense, you decided. Then, you gave a small smile, and said, "That'sssss not the r-r-real reason though, i-i-is it?"

He chuckled. "You're more observant than I guessed. You're right." He dropped the smile and became serious. "The real reason is that Percy's been feeling... Percy's been feeling guilty."

"Guilty? Why?" Had he done something? Been somewhere? Disobeyed someone?

"Well... again, it was Annabeth who told me this. She said that Percy feels guilty that you almost got killed trying to save him."

... _What?_

 _Guilty?_

 _Because of that?_

You didn't say anything, only able to stare at Will in bewilderment. You couldn't fathom why on Earth Percy would feel that way for something he didn't have control over. Guilt is an emotion you feel when you understand you've done something wrong. But he hadn't _done_ anything. It was like Annabeth's breakdown all over again. Both of them felt guilty for your actions, yet it had been _you_ that chose to accept Annabeth's plea and _you_ that decided to risk your health in order to understand what was happening and _you_ that nearly killed yourself to banish the evil in his soul! No one other than you had told you what to do; in fact, Annabeth had tried to stop you at one point. So why would Percy be feeling guilty?

Your stomach seemed to flip and a sickening feeling appeared in your gut. This was not what you had intended to happen. You were supposed to save Percy then heal and then everything would go back to normal. Percy wasn't supposed to be confining himself to his cabin because he felt so much guilt over your predicament that he couldn't bring himself to return to his daily life. He was supposed to be finally free! Free from the grasps of Tartarus, free from his nightmares, free from the constant exhaustion and horrors. Instead, you caused a load as heavy as the sky to drop on his mind and his chest, because that was what guilt was.

Oh gods. What if you just made things worse for him? Guilt was a powerful emotion. You knew the mental and physical effects of it on the body, from having researched it while you were trying to find the cause of Percy's intense nightmares. Sickness to the point of vomiting, being tense, sleep problems, anger, depression, and those were only some of the many. You had no idea how bad he felt which meant that you wouldn't know what symptoms he felt. You didn't mean for him to feel like this. You didn't mean to cause this!

 _But... you did._

 _You caused this._

"Oh my gods," you whispered. You opened your eyes (but when had they closed?) to see that Will had been joined by Charity. She was standing next to you and in the process of propping you up in a sitting position (when did you lie down?). Your head lolled to the side, looking out a window, and you let out a strangled gasp. It was no longer light outside.

A soft touch on your shoulder brought you out of your thoughts and into reality. Fingers tilted your head to meet Will's worried gaze.

Before he had a chance to speak, you asked, "What time is it?"

He frowned a little, and answered, "Eight pm. (Y/N), we haven't been able to get your attention for hours. What happened?"

"I..." You knew exactly what had happened. You lost yourself to your thoughts. Normally, you would have been able to snap out of it or prevent it from happening entirely, but with the boredom that came with only lying down for days on end... you were bound to lose control at some point. "I-I-I'm sorry. It-it's my fatal... flaw. I looooose myself t-t-to my thoughts."

"Right, but why?" Charity came closer into your field of view. She cocked her head and stared you down, her eyes inviting you to open up. "We both know that something caused it." She sat down on the edge of your bed. "Are you okay?"

Your eyes filled up with tears involuntarily. You wanted to wipe them away, but they just kept coming until you were full out crying. "N-n-no," you managed to choke out. "I'm s-s-sorry."

Immediately, you were enveloped in a warm hug. Charity held you close as you cried, exhausted from the day, from all the new information, and most of all from the shame you felt for causing the exact opposite of what you intended for Percy. "It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay."

 _But it isn't,_ you thought. _It isn't._

* * *

OHMYGOODNESSI'MSOSORRY I give all of you full permission to yell at me in the comments because I haven't updated for months and that is not okay. I'm really really sorry, which might not mean much to you since I said that last time. HUGE APOLOGY FROM ME. I'm such a hypocrite and you can all blame me for that. However, it's summer now so I should be able to write more! I start summer school next week so I have some time before my time is taken up again, and then after.

If you want a reason as to why I took a long hiatus, I'm sorry, but I don't have a huge reason that prevented me from writing for months. In reality, it was mostly school and other activities (like band- we had several big competitions and performances- and piano- I had an exam coming up). School honestly drains me to the point where when I come home all I can do is eat and do my homework then collapse in bed. Again, not much of an excuse since there are many many authors who are also in school, even college, yet can still update regularly. I'm sorry. SO ENJOY THESE TWO NEW CHAPTERS.

Also, if there's anybody out there with a stutter, can you tell me if I'm doing this correctly? I read many articles on how people with stutters speak and the struggles that come with it, but I have no idea if I'm writing this the correct way or if I'm actually being very offensive. Help? (oh, and if anybody was wondering, the ... means that (Y/N) couldn't force a sound out while speaking)

I think it must be said one more time: I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE AND WILL TRY TO MAKE SURE THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.


	7. Finally Getting Better

_Previously..._

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _Your eyes filled up with tears involuntarily. You wanted to wipe them away, but they just kept coming until you were full out crying. "N-n-no," you managed to choke out. "I'm s-s-sorry."_

 _Immediately, you were enveloped in a warm hug. Charity held you close as you cried, exhausted from the day, from all the new information, and most of all from the shame you felt for causing the exact opposite of what you intended for Percy. "It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay."_

But it isn't, _you thought._ It isn't.

* * *

After you finished a good cry, your body felt so heavy leaning against Charity. All you wanted to do was let sleep take you and forget about the problems of reality. Charity let you go and promised to come back tomorrow to talk (but her eyes told you that she wanted to know what happened).

You collapsed backward onto your pillow. After zoning out for hours and learning so much new information, you were dead tired. Your eyes were dried out from the salty tears, so you shut them to give yourself at least some relief. Within seconds, you were half-asleep, despite that not being your initial intention. However, you gave in and let yourself be taken into unconsciousness. You were barely aware that someone covered you with a blanket and kissed your forehead.

By the next minute, you were out like a light.

(~)

The next day, you woke up as normal, although you most definitely were _not_ expecting to see a face two centimetres away from yours.

"ARGH!" you screeched, jerking to the side in reflex. By luck, you jumped right off the bed and landed in a heap on the floor. _That for sure earned me a couple bruises._ Groaning, you tried to get up, but only a twitch of your arms answered your request. "A l-l-little help, here, -?" you asked, following the question with a string of curse words toward the person who scared you into leaping off the bed.

The sound of rushing feet came around the bed to your side and the person plopped down on the ground next to you. "Shoot, sorry (Y/N)!"

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and you turned your head to see a mess of red hair atop a sheepish, grinning face. "Rex? Wh-wh-what are you doing... here?"

"I wanted to surprise you, but not in the way this turned out." He gestured to your current dilemma apologetically and scratched the back of his head. "Heh... sorry. Let me help you up."

Rex swung one of your arms around his shoulders and heaved you back up onto the bed. By the end of his 'intense workout', he was breathing heavily and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. You rolled your eyes. "Come on, I-I-I'm not _that_ heavvvvvvy."

He shrugged. "Tomato tomahto," then laughed as you stuck your tongue out. "Anyways, you do realise what just happened, right?"

You frowned. It had literally just happened a few seconds ago... You thought about it nonetheless and made sure to speak slowly as to avoid stuttering. "Well, yeah, you s-s-scared the c-c-crap out of me and I basically launched myself off the... off the... HOLY HERA!" Your mouth dropped open then stretched into a huge grin which mirrored Rex's.

"I jummmmmped!"

"I know!"

"Off the b-b-bed!"

"Yeah!"

"I a-a-actually... _moved!"_

 _"_ You did!"

You let out a breathless laugh. It was unbelievable. You _were_ getting better! You weren't going to be paralyzed your whole life (a thought which you refused to acknowledge, yet lingered at the back of your mind). Finally, some major improvements. Finally. _Finally._

Rex leaped up to sit next to you on the bed and smushed his face into your chest as he hugged the living daylights out of you. His muffled voice said, "I can't wait until you're completely better."

Smiling down at him, you tried to ruffle his hair before remembering that you couldn't. _I suppose I only managed to jump out of reflex,_ you guessed. "Me too, Rex."

At that moment, Will walked in. He raised an eyebrow and said, "I heard screaming."

You were too ecstatic to correct him, only laughing in response. You fell back on your pillow, giggling at Rex's "oof" as he was lobbed from the hug. All you wanted to think about was the fact that you were _going to get better._

(~)

After you explained to Will what had happened and he basically fangirled over your progress, you were left alone. Only for a short time, though. Charity came walking in a few minutes later, true to her word of coming to see you.

"Hey, Charrrrrity, how's it going?"

The normal cloudiness in her grey eyes disappeared as she focused on you and smiled. "Great. But I don't want to avoid the topic you know I came here for. I want to talk about what happened yesterday."

You sighed. You'd been hoping she'd forget about that. "Yeah, I-I-I figured."

She relaxed on the chair next to you, crossing her arms. "You were seriously out of it yesterday. Will and I tried everything we could think of to snap you out of it, but all you did was stare wide-eyed at the ceiling. What were you thinking about?" She peered at you, her eyes imploring you to reveal what had caused that.

You'd never been able to withstand Charity's gazes like that. "It was P-P-Percy," you blurted out.

She blinked. "Percy?"

You nodded and kept talking. "Will t-t-told me he feeeeels guilty. B-B-Because of what I-I-I did. How I almost... died. I d-d-didn't mean f-f-for that to... happen! Heeeee shouldn't feel... guilty. I-I-I didn't mmmean- I-I-I didn't mean- I-I-I-"

Charity leaned forward and laid a hand on your arm. "Slow down, (Y/N). Think about your words or you'll start to stutter-"

"I d-d-don't care!" you shrieked. She flinched back, yet didn't let go of your arm. You took a deep breath, feeling ashamed for blowing up on her. Charity hadn't done a thing to deserve that. "I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm just m-m-mad."

"At yourself?"

"Yeah. It's my fault that P-P-Percy feels guilty. He... shouldn't. I d-d-don't know what to do." You felt helpless at the moment. You couldn't get out of the bed, you could barely talk, so how could you comfort Percy and tell him you were okay? Clearly, you were not.

As if reading your thoughts, Charity spoke up to offer some advice. "Maybe he just needs more time. Three weeks ago, you were in a coma. Now, you're half paralyzed. It's a lot to suddenly take in, especially since he had already been feeling guilty during those three months of sleep. It probably won't help him to come here and see that you're suffering from what happened. So, give it time. He'll come."

"Since when d-d-did you g-g-get soooooo wise?" you asked in amazement.

She smiled at you, although you could tell she wasn't looking _at_ you, but somewhere far away. "You learn a lot by watching and listening."

"Thanks, Charity." Her eyes cleared and refocused on you. "That helped."

"No problem." She glanced down to look at her watch and cocked her head. "Huh. I'm late for my Ancient Greek lesson. See you later, (Y/N)." She got up and waved as she walked out of the infirmary.

"B-Bye!"

(~)

Following Charity's advice, you waited. You calmed yourself with the knowledge that Percy needed to take some time to accept what had happened. He would visit later.

Your days in the infirmary followed a schedule of sorts. You would wake up; someone would bring you breakfast; Charity or Rex would visit you to talk; you and Will would do some physical therapy, which included re-teaching yourself to write normally and read again (screw Ancient Greek, English was hard enough now!); you'd have lunch; you would take a nap; Will would return for speech therapy; and you'd be left alone for the rest of the day to do whatever you wanted- that is, whatever you could do with the little movement you had. It didn't include much.

However, your routine was interrupted one day by none other than Chiron.

You were lying down, throwing a hacky sack up in the air from one hand to the other in order to improve your hand-eye coordination. You'd been doing well so far, mostly because you knew that if you dropped it you wouldn't be able to pick it back up from the floor. You were so concentrated on your game, that you didn't hear the clop of Chiron's hooves nor see him until he spoke up.

"Good afternoon, (Y/N)."

You gave a start, launching the hacky sack up high and craned your neck forward to see the body of a horse with a human's torso standing at the foot of your bed. "What-" You were cut off as something smacked you in the face. " _Ow!"_ Groaning, you grabbed your nose in pain and felt around for what had hit you. Your hand touched a yarn-covered ball. _That damn hacky sack._

"Oh dear." Chiron trotted over to your side. "I'm terribly sorry about that."

"N-n-no no, it's fine. My f-f-fault, really." Letting go of your nose, you placed your hands on either side of you and hefted yourself into a sitting position with pale, shaking arms. You breathed a sigh of relief when you were done. For your stick-thin, underused limbs, that was like lifting the sky. Finally, you looked up at Chiron and quickly leaned forward in an awkward bow.

He waved his hand dismissively. "It's quite all right, (Y/N). I came here to see how you are doing, not as a formal meeting." He smiled warmly at you. "So, how are you?"

"Oh!" In all honesty, you had been wondering whether or not Chiron knew what had happened since he hadn't come to talk to you. Apparently he did. _But why did it take so long for him to come?_ "I'm doing much b-b-better and improving evvvvvery day, thank you. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you. And yes, Will and the others have informed me of your improvements. I can clearly see that you've been working hard to regain your previous strength," he said, gesturing at how you had pulled yourself up to a sitting position.

Your cheeks heated up slightly from the praise. "Thank you, Ch-Ch-Chiron."

"I apologize for not coming to see you earlier." His tail swished in a nervous manner. "I wanted to give you some time to settle into a normal routine before talking about... what happened."

Your heart stopped for a second as you stared at Chiron. You swallowed to soothe your suddenly dry throat. "Wh-wh-what do you mean?" You knew perfectly well what he meant. You just didn't want to acknowledge the reality of what had happened.

He sighed regretfully. "We must speak about what happened with Percy all those months ago."

 _No. No no no no no._ You were not ready to talk about what happened. That experience had traumatized you. You hadn't told anyone that what you saw gave you nightmares, which was extremely rare for a child of Morpheus. You suspected that they weren't actually nightmares, but the memories springing up as you slept. Either way, you were seriously shaken. "I..." You swallowed again. "Do we... have to?" you whispered pitifully, like a child who was afraid of the first day of school.

"I'm afraid so, my dear." Chiron laid his hand on your shoulder. "You can take all the time you need to tell your story. If you need to take a break after every sentence, so be it. Just know that I will be here the whole time should you need me." He gazed at you with the wise, understanding eyes of someone who'd been in your position before.

You exhaled slowly, going over Chiron's words again and again in your brain. _He'll be there the whole time. He'll help me if I zone out or have a flashback. He'll be there. He'll help me. Everything will be fine._ With those thoughts as reassurances, you took one more deep breath and let it go, a final calming technique. "Okay," you said softly. "I'm ready."

And so you began your story, way back to when Annabeth first asked you to help out. You described what you saw when you delved into Percy's dreams the first time, and the horror that came with learning that some unknown force was messing with his nightmares. Even more terrifying was realising that his nightmares stemmed from his soul, not his mind, and seeing what it looked like for the very first time. You described your exhaustion, the feelings of panic and terror, and the desperation to save Percy before it was too late. You explained how you swore on the Rive Styx to save him, and you tried to ignore how Chiron's eyes grew sharper and stared you down. Next came planning out what to do with your siblings and the Hypnos cabin. You shamefully recounted how you were prepared to sacrifice yourself without telling the others. Finally, an hour later (you had taken a few breaks when explaining Percy's nightmares and the darkness you saw the first time as it had nearly caused a breakdown), you reached the point of when you and the others were standing in front of the rift connecting Percy's nightmare to his soul.

"And that's wheeeeeen we found it. Th-th-the opening to his... soul." You paused, not sure if you were ready to continue just yet. Your mind kept flashing back to that place and each time you banished the images from your mind. But if you started talking about it... you weren't certain you would be able to pull yourself away from having a panic attack.

Chiron leaned forward from his knelt position and gently grabbed your hand as encouragement. You squeezed his hand, needing the anchor to keep yourself in reality. Once again, you took a few deep breaths before continuing with the story. You managed to hold it together while describing the darkness and the evil you felt at the beginning and the method of using memories to restore light and purity in Percy's soul. You continued to push back the fear and tears while explaining how the shadows started to fight back, the discouragement that followed your last effort having not worked and finally how you told the others to go. But when you reached the part where you called out to Tartarus and his voice answered you... it was too much.

"He s-s-said... he s-s-said..." You stared at Chiron, who was saying something, but you couldn't hear the words, only see his lips moving. You felt yourself be shoved, or did you really? You couldn't feel anything. You couldn't see anything. Your eyes were unfocused, looking at nothing. Slowly, you came to realise that you were no longer in the infirmary (what infirmary?). You were no longer simply recounting a trauma to Chiron (who's Chiron?). No, you were back _there_.

The darkness surrounded you, encaging you. You were floating in a pit of inky blackness. The walls rippled, looking as though something was slithering in them. The sense of evil was all around. All you could hear was the sound of Tartarus' voice, the way it sounded like it was being projected _in_ ward instead of _out_ ward, and his laugh that was the sound of a mountain being cracked in half. You were remembering the fear that coursed through your body and immobilized you. You could do nothing but stare in horror at your surroundings. The darkness seemed to be closing in on you. It pulsed closer and closer, the ripples moving faster as they swirled around you. You jerked this way and that, trying to find an escape through the walls. When you came close, a tendril of blackness snaked toward you and tried to grab you. It was impossible.

 _There was no escape._

You screamed and shrieked, hyperventilating when the shadows were only an arms length away. From every direction, the tendrils reached out, grabbing you and little by little covering every inch of your body. No matter how much you struggled, you couldn't break free. They only squeezed tighter and pulled you closer. You were screaming and crying, jerking around violently. Tartarus' voice breathed into your ear while laughing in the other. Even though your hearing had been blocked, his voice still echoed in your ears. Your mouth and nose were covered, choking you. You couldn't breathe. Your sight was the only sense left. The tendrils slithered around, rejoicing in your agony, taking an excruciating amount of time in order to prolong the torture. Then, ever so slowly, your sight was cut off. Halfway through one eye. One eye down. The beginning of the other. Closing in on your pupil. It was so, so close. Only a little bit more-

"(Y/N)!"

Your eyes snapped open and you inhaled sharply, hyperventilating. Your eyes darted around wildly. What happened? Where were you? Weren't you just with the shadows and the darkness and _Tartarus-_

A face appeared in your field of view. That person's hands cupped the sides of your face firmly yet gently. "(Y/N), I need you to calm down."

"What?" You were getting lightheaded.

"Come on, take deep breaths with me. In: one, two, three, four. Hold: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And out: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Come now, you can do it. Follow me."

Despite not knowing what was going on, the person radiated warmth and made you want to trust them. Your wide eyes stared at them, and you gradually started to follow their breathing rhythm. By copying this, your breathing slowed down and you eventually calmed down enough that you could make sense of what had just happened and where you were.

Glancing around, you recognized the infirmary, and looking up at the person confirmed it to be Chiron. You remembered, now, that you had been explaining your story to him. What happened after, though? Why had you been so confused?

Chiron let go of your cheeks and leaned back slightly. "(Y/N), are you feeling better now?" You nodded. "Good. That's good." He released a relieved breath and relaxed back into the kneeling position he had been in before.

"What-" _Whoa._ Your voice was crazy raspy. You swallowed a few times before speaking again. "What just happened?"

He sighed regretfully. "I believe you have just experienced a flashback, and a very intense one, at that."

"A... flashback?"

"Yes. When you started describing your encounter with the Father of the Giants, something must have triggered you and you fell into a flashback." He paused. "You were... you were screaming and flailing around. I wasn't able to rouse you back into reality until just now."

"Gods." You knew it would happen, although you hadn't expected it to be that extreme. Bits and pieces of afterimages of the hallucination floated around in your mind and you tried to ignore them for the time being. You shuddered. _Even though I'm trying to ignore it, I still see them. Is that what actually happened during the flashback?_

A hand was laid on your shoulder. You looked up at Chiron and was appalled to see that he appeared sorrowful. "(Y/N), I am so sorry for causing you to live through that. I knew it was a possibility, but I had been dearly hoping to be wrong. However, you do understand why it was important for me to know what had happened, correct?" When you hesitated, he explained it in more detail. "You are one of the few demigods who has had contact with one of the oldest primordials. It was imperative to know whether or not you had simply heard his voice, or seen a manifestation of him. I'm tremendously relieved that it was the former."

Slowly exhaling, you nodded. _That makes sense. It makes sense. I did a good thing. It helped._ You tried to ignore the shuddering breaths you took and the way your pulse continued to race no matter how many times you deeply breathed. You tried to ignore how you still felt the tendrils slithering across your skin and how you absentmindedly rubbed your arms. You tried to ignore it all, focusing only on the here and the now, yet you couldn't suppress a shudder every now and then.

Chiron obviously noticed you were distressed, since his next question was, "How are you feeling, (Y/N)?"

You didn't want to look him in the eyes. You knew that if you did, you wouldn't be able to lie and say you were okay. That would be a big fat lie. You were petrified, even though there was no danger to be seen. The only danger was your own mind, and that terrified you the most. However, you couldn't resist his caring, fatherly gaze. Your eyes twitched to meet his own, and you weren't able to hold it back anymore.

Feeling your eyes water, you started talking before you were too choked up to force a word out. "I-I'm-" A sob built up in your chest and you struggled to swallow it down. "I-" It emerged again, cutting you off. Your lips trembled as your eyes squeezed shut. "I'm sorry." You couldn't say a word more, since the sobs broke through and your head fell limp, your shoulders shaking as you cried.

Chiron's arms wrapped around you, pulling you close. You did nothing except allow yourself to lean into his embrace, needing the physical contact. He stayed as you sobbed, rubbing your back and whispering words of comfort. He didn't let go until your heart-wrenching cries had dissolved to sniffles.

Once you felt well enough, he released you. Rubbing your eyes free of tears, you attempted to diffuse the tension that had built up. "That's the second time I've had a breakdown," you joked, laughing a little, although your heart wasn't really in it.

"Well, it's understandable in your case, (Y/N). You've been through more than most demigods could imagine." Chiron looked at you sternly. "Don't think it makes you a weak person."

You said nothing. What else was there to say, after all?

He seemed to sense that your conversation had come to an end, after hours of talking and suffering a flashback. He stood up from his kneeling position, and you internally winced. _That's gotta be painful, having stayed with his knees bent for so long_. However, Chiron gave no sign that he was sore. He only smiled and wished you a speedy recovery, before leaving.

Glancing out a window, you noticed it was late. You had probably missed dinner, but you weren't hungry anyway. In fact, if you were focusing on how you felt, you were extremely worn out. You yawned. _Time to sleep, I guess_. You carefully lowered yourself down to a lying position, and the second your head touched the pillow, you crashed.

Hopefully, this time no nightmares would occur.


	8. Done

_Previously..._

 _He seemed to sense that your conversation had come to an end, after hours of talking and suffering a flashback. He stood up from his kneeling position, and you internally winced._ That's gotta be painful, having stayed with his knees bent for so long. _However, Chiron gave no sign that he was sore. He only smiled and wished you a speedy recovery, before leaving._

 _Glancing out a window, you noticed it was late. You had probably missed dinner, but you weren't hungry anyway. In fact, if you were focusing on how you felt, you were extremely worn out. You yawned._ Time to sleep, I guess _. You carefully lowered yourself down to a lying position, and the second your head touched the pillow, you crashed._

 _Hopefully, this time no nightmares would occur._

* * *

Over the next few weeks, you received several visitors that were not your usual daily ones. One of them was Nico di Angelo, who, to be honest, had scared you at first since you'd been struck with the thought that he was there to take you to the Underworld. Thankfully, it had not been the case. Nico had actually been one of the people to help revive you when you were no more than a wisp of light. He prevented your soul from crossing over to his father's realm, struggling for hours to reign you in until your soul was firmly in place. He simply wanted to see if his attempts had worked. You hadn't been informed of this, so you took the chance to thank him profusely for his help.

Another visitor (well, visitors) was the whole of the Athena cabin. They were begging you to share how you had defeated Tartarus' curse by using your memories. They wanted to use this new information and write a paper about it for future use and research. This was another thing you weren't told, and frankly, annoyed about. Somehow, word of your 'quest' had gotten around and now basically the entire camp knew what had happened. However, despite being irritated, you complied and explained your thought process and how it had worked, as well as answers to any questions they had (which turned out to be a heck ton).

Surprisingly, one visitor was Grover. You'd never met him before, though by first impressions, he was one of the nicest people (satyrs?) you'd ever met. You could tell that he cared immensely for Percy. He repeatedly thanked you for saving Percy and almost started crying out of gratitude, but thankfully didn't.

Speaking of Percy's friends, one by one the Seven visited you for the same reason Grover did: to thank you. Honestly, you were feeling pretty embarrassed by this point. When Jason came, you accidentally let slip a phrase meant to downplay what you'd done: "It really isn't a big deal." He went deathly silent. You were hit with instant fear, thinking you'd offended him somehow. After a few seconds of silence, he told you, "You banished Tartarus from Percy's soul, (Y/N). _Tartarus_. He's one of the strongest beings in the universe. You're a powerful demigod." Which only succeeded in making you more embarrassed (but you secretly shone with pride).

However, despite all these visits, from so many people you'd never met before, there was one person who repeatedly failed to show up.

Percy.

You understood that Percy needed time to build up the courage and mental strength to handle seeing you in such a situation. But it had been _9 weeks_ since you'd woken up from your coma. 69 days. That ought to have been enough time to mentally prepare himself. Wasn't it? You weren't mentally prepared at all to talk about what had happened with Chiron. You even had a major flashback (and were still suffering from nightmares because of it). But you did it because you knew you had to, and got through it. Again, Percy had had 9 weeks to prepare himself. And yet, you hadn't even seen him out the window from your bed.

You know what? You were done being concerned. During the past weeks, you'd been stressing out over Percy. _Was he okay?_ _How could I do this to him?_ These thoughts plagued your mind and made you feel sick to your stomach over the guilt you'd caused to appear inside him. You put your body through constant strain because you were nauseous with worry for him. You struggled with daily tasks because each person that visited you and every therapy session with Will and every nightmare you had was only a reminder of what had happened. You were desperate to see him, affirm that he was okay, so that all these thoughts could finally be put at rest. Yet Percy never showed up, you never saw his cheeky smile, and you were done stressing yourself out over him.

Now? Now you were annoyed. You could go as far as to say that you were pissed off at him. He wasn't visiting, even though he had had enough time. He was staying in his cabin, like a _coward_ , too afraid to face the reality of what had happened. Percy had faced much, much larger foes in his lifetime: Kronos, Gaea, Tartarus himself. And the thing that stopped him was his feelings?

A part of you argued against this. _Aren't you being selfish?_ it said. _You want to see him, but he might not be ready. Guilt is a very strong emotion. It could take much longer before he has the courage to see you._ However, you shot back with an effective counter-argument. Wasn't _he_ also being selfish? He couldn't stand to see you. Was he not even considering the effects his choice had on you? You were ripping yourself apart with the desperation to see him yourself, to be completely assured that he was okay. Did he not realise that you _needed_ this? Did he not realise that you cared so badly for him and to not see him with your own two eyes killed you inside? Did he not realise that you had nearly died for him, and the _least he could do was suck it up and visit you?!_

No, you were done worrying. You were done looking up hopefully every time you heard footsteps. You didn't care whether Percy came or not. He _should_ stay in his cabin, wallowing in guilt. He deserved it. You were _done_.

(~)

You put the thought of anything related to Percy out of your head. You stuffed it in the back of your mind and forced yourself to lock it up and leave it alone. You weren't joking when you said that you were done feeling sick over Percy. You were damn adamant about it.

To distract yourself from those locked up thoughts, you worked harder than ever before on your physical therapy. Whenever you had free time, you practiced improving your stutter and repeated sounds for hours on end until you got them right. When you were allowed out of bed, you practiced on the parallel bars for arm and leg strength, refusing to stop until you were almost passed out from fatigue. You pushed yourself beyond your limits so that you wouldn't have the time nor the energy to think about Percy.

The others started to notice. At first, they cheered you on as you seemingly suddenly started to improve twice as fast as before. They congratulated you as you gained more motor function in various parts of your body. Will was excited at the advancements you were making during your daily therapy sessions. However, that changed once they became aware of why you were developing so quickly.

"Please, (Y/N), take a break," Will begged. A few days ago he walked in on you balancing yourself on the bars, arms shaking so badly they looked like they would snap at any moment. He had rushed to help you down, only to be pushed back as you didn't want any help. He realised that you were pushing yourself too hard, and had been pleading for you to slow down ever since.

"Why should I t-t-take a break?" you challenged. "Can't you see that I've b-b-been getting better way faster than before? At this rate, I'll b-b-be out of here in a few weeks, rather than a few... months." You were currently in bed, and despite the fact that you should be resting (at least, according to Will), you were working out. You were twisting your torso while holding a medicine ball, working on your upper body strength.

Will ran a hand through his hair, agitated. "You're not giving your body any time to rest! How is it supposed to heal when you're constantly straining it?"

"Um, but I am. I sleep, remmmmember?

"10 hours isn't enough!" Will yelled. "Every time you work out, your musculoskeletal system- your bones and muscles- experience microscopic damage. They need at least 24 hours of rest for adequate reparation. If you keep doing this, you'll sprain parts of your body or tear your muscles. You can't afford for that to happen. (Y/N), you'll wear yourself down to the point where picking up a glass of water is as hard as it was when you first moved your hand! You need to slow down and rest!" By the end of his little spiel, he was shouting.

Well, you shouted back. "How could I possibly be going too fast i-i-if I'm still four times weaker than I used to be, huh? How else am I-I-I going to get better? I have to keep training and building my... strength! I d-d-don't care if I sprain something! I'll just take ambrosia and it'll heal! And I certainly don't c-c-care what anyone thinks about this- especially Perc-" You stopped abruptly, your eyes wide and mouth open. You hadn't meant to let that slip. You hadn't thought of Percy in weeks. Why would you accidentally do it now?

Will was staring at you with a contemplative look on his face. He was probably making the connections, realising that your excessive training was linked to Percy. You internally screamed. This was just getting worse by the minute, wasn't it?

When he finally said something, his voice was soft, a large contrast to the previously harsh tone. "(Y/N), does this have something to do with Percy not visiting you?"

 _Aaaaaand there it was_. You refused to look at him, opting instead to stare at the medicine ball currently lying in your lap. However, this just gave him the answer he wanted.

Sighing quietly, Will sat down on the chair next to your bed. A couple of moments passed before he spoke up again. "Percy's going through a really hard time right now-"

You cut him off. "And I'm not?" Your voice was cold, monotone.

He shook his head. "No, that's not what I'm saying. It's just... he can't stand to see you right now. He hates himself for almost causing your death- and even though he had nothing to do with it, it's what he's convinced himself of."

"I don't care."

Will reeled back in shock. "(Y/N), I just said-"

"I know. I don't care." He continued to stare with wide eyes. "P-P-Percy is being selfish. It's b-b-been nine weeks. _Nine weeks._ How much longer am I g-g-going to have to wait? Whennnnn will I finally get to see him with my own two eyes? I need this, Will, I need to see that he's f-f-fine myself."

He laid a hand on your arm. "Just give him some more time, and-"

"No!" You wrenched your arm away. "He's had enough! I just- I can't do it any longer, Will. I'm the reason he's st-st-staying away, and it's _tearing me apart_. I'm c-c-constantly sick with worry for him! I'm consumed by the guilt from what I've done to him! Doesn't he know that his unwillingness to see me is _killing_ me b-b-bit by bit every day?" Your eyes filled with tears involuntarily. "I nearly died to... save him! I-I faced Tartarus, and before I started training, every time I closed my eyes allllll I could see were images of _that place._ The least he c-c-could do is visit me, f-f-for gods' sake!" You angrily wiped the tears away and took a deep breath to calm yourself.

"I j-j-just need to see him. Just once. That's all I assssssk. I'll stop training so hard and r-r-relax. _Please._ T-T-Talk to him."

It took a couple seconds, but Will nodded slowly. He seemed to be taking in all this information that you suddenly threw at him. You hadn't previously told him about your nightmares and how badly you felt over causing Percy's guilt. And now he understood the reason for your training so hard; You needed to get the thoughts of Percy out, and by training constantly, working was the only thing you would focus on. Also, by training until you were dead tired, you simply passed out: no dreams, no nightmares. You'd been craving that kind of sleep for a long time.

"Okay, (Y/N). I'll talk to him. But I can't promise that he'll agree to come."

"I know," you whispered. "Just please try."

(~)

It didn't happen.

The next day, Will came back, looking apologetically sorrowful, and you knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

Percy didn't come that day, nor the following ones. Or the week after that. In fact, you just accepted that Percy wouldn't show up. There was no hope. He was too engulfed in guilt to be conscious of the fact that he was hurting you- badly.

However, you were lucky to have good friends. They visited more often now, probably since Will informed them of everything that you revealed to him. Either way, they kept you going, talking to you and making you laugh more than you had for a while.

You eventually succumbed to Will pressuring you to slow down on the training, especially since your loved ones had joined in. You couldn't resist Rex on the verge of tears and quickly agreed to rest longer if it meant that Rex wouldn't cry. It turned out, he'd been faking it. The little brat.

Instead of constantly training physically, you used the freed-up time to work on your stutter. Which was starting to frustrate you. Your progress was gradual. You couldn't get through a sentence without stuttering at least once. Even though you were physically gaining strength, your brain didn't seem to be working on your vocal chords at the same rate. You and Will talked about your concern and he came to the unfortunate conclusion that this was one thing that might never be healed. It was possible that you would have a stutter for the rest of your life.

Throughout all this, you kept thoughts of Percy at the back of your mind and suppressed any feeling of worry because _he didn't deserve them_. Despite your attempts to forget him, that need to physically see him popped up whenever your mind wandered. You tried to ignore it, but it was always too prominent of a thought. Since that didn't work, you started thinking about every reason why you were angry at him right now. This fueled you with rage and effectively pushed out the thought.

Weeks passed and you were progressing every day (except for, y'know, your stutter). You'd been working on your arm strength the most. Will had performed several evaluations on your motor functions, each one revealing that your legs were the most affected. They would take the longest to heal. He instructed you to build up your arm strength, because it looked like you would have to begin walking using forearm crutches. You'd originally asked for a wheelchair, instead, but Will said that you had to use these so that you wouldn't lose your strength by sitting down all day. Ugh. That required a lot of upper body strength. You altered your training to include core exercises as well as those for your arms. At least ambrosia and nectar would help speed up the process.

Fast-forward to August 18, and it'd been 7 months since the incident, 4 months since you woke up, 3 months since you spoke for the first time, and one month since you started to seriously train.

It was also a certain somebody's birthday, but you refused to think about that.

However, August 18 was special for a different reason; it was the day that you were finally released from the infirmary.

"YES!" you screeched. Will winced and rubbed his ears. You were too elated to pay attention. "I c-c-can actually leave? I c-c-can sleep in my own cabin? I'm free?"

His mouth stretched into a smile, not able to resist your contagious excitement. "Yup. You've regained much of your previous mobility, your eating habits have progressed to normal ones, and you can walk with the crutches. There's no reason to keep you here any longer."

You whooped once more, laughing in exhilaration. "Thank you so much, Will. There's no way I would've gotten better without you." You pulled him into a hug, letting go after a few seconds. "I'm gonna go say hi to Charity and Rex! They'll be so happy to see me out of here!" You fumbled with your crutches and strapped them onto your arms, shooting Will one last grin before walking (limping? What would you even call what you were doing right now?) to the exit.

The second you were outside, your grin widened. It'd been seven months since you'd seen the sun and breathed fresh air. You took a huge breath, relishing in that fresh feeling, and exhaling as you looked around. Everything looked exactly the same. There were the cabins directly in front of you. The volleyball court hosted several demigods and satyrs having a hardcore game. Thalia's tree was just past that. You were finally, _finally_ , back.

Well, almost. First you had to get off this porch and then you could journey back to your cabin. You looked from side to side for a railing off the stairs. Your eyes scanned your surroundings for what you needed. _Ah, there it was_. You hobbled over to the railing, turning a corner of the porch, and nearly smacked into someone.

"Woah!" you exclaimed. His back was to you, but once you spoke, he turned around with a sheepish grin.

You gasped. The grin slid off his face.

"(Y/N)?" he whispered.

"Percy?"

* * *

Oh my gods, I've completely forgotten to publish the chapters on this website as well! I type it up on Quotev first, but I kept forgetting to put the same chapters here! I'm sorry!

However, you haven't missed much. Actually, I've only done 2 chapters. I realised that the whole "write and post one chapter a week" isn't working for me and I feel stressed to write it within a week so I end up procrastinating and not doing it. It's also not fair to you guys to leave you waiting for so long. Therefore, I've decided to take a hiatus where I will write several chapters in advance and post one of those every week. Then, during those weeks, I'll write more and post them later and the pattern will continue. So, after the next chapter, I'll see you guys in a month or two!


	9. The Meeting

_Previously..._

 _You gasped. The grin slid off his face._

 _"(Y/N)?" he whispered._

 _"Percy?"_

* * *

Neither of you could force out a word.

You stood frozen in place by the shock of being face to face. You stared at his eyes, expecting to see the iconic bright, sea-green colour, yet you were instead greeted by a weary, dull green that bordered on grey. His were as wide as your own, and his mouth opened and closed many times without a sound coming out. His black hair was no longer dishevelled in that handsome, bad-boy way, but messy and matted like he'd been lying in bed for days. He didn't look like Percy Jackson, the brave, funny, cheeky demigod who'd risk his life for his friends. He looked like he'd been battered mentally for weeks on end. He looked frustrated and fed up with the world. He looked like somebody who'd seen it all and wanted so badly to forget everything.

He looked... _tired._

The timeless atmosphere that had enveloped you broke when Percy swallowed thickly. He opened his mouth and finally choked out some words. "Hey, (Y/N)," he croaked.

You were snapped out of your daze instantly by his voice. Realising that you were literally only half a foot away from him, you scrambled away to put more distance between you. In your hurry, your crutch caught in one of the floorboards and you stumbled, falling backward. Percy's hands immediately shot out and grabbed you before you could hit the ground.

However, you wouldn't let yourself be consumed by his gaze again. You fumbled with your crutches until they were in a position where you could stand up, and pushed yourself out of his hold. He stepped back immediately, sensing your increasing discomfort with your proximity to him. Once you regained your balance, you tried to stand up straight as best you could, crutches be damned. You refused to be perceived as weak. There was no way you would be parading around camp (and facing Percy Jackson) looking like a hunched over, broken little girl.

Despite your attempts, they were countered by the fact that you were trembling all over, though you didn't know whether it was from fear, sadness, shock, or anger. Your emotions were in a jumble right now. After all, it had been months since you first woke up and saw everybody surrounding your paralyzed form- the last time you saw Percy. Now, all of a sudden, you were slammed into meeting him (literally) after telling yourself that you didn't need him and all those old emotions were rushing back.

You shoved them all down. Well, you tried to. The feelings were way too strong. You were breathing heavily and shakily, although you couldn't tell if it was because of the anger or if you were trying to hold back tears. Maybe a mix. Probably a mix, actually. You wanted so badly to stay angry at Percy for all the worry and pain he had caused you, but the relief and shock of finally seeing him with your own two eyes was too prominent to ignore.

Deciding to figure all that stuff out later, alone, you refocused on his face and was surprised to see a big grin stretching across it. His eyes were suddenly brighter and greener, and the previous cloud of exhaustion that surrounded him had lifted. He looked like his old self again. "(Y/N)," he breathed. "You- you're- you can walk?"

Your response was out of your mouth before you could stop it. "Yeah, no thanks to you."

Percy flinched back, the grin dropping. You almost felt guilty for what you said, but the part of you that was angry overtook that thought. _He deserves it!_ it shouted. _Don't you remember all that pain he caused that you worked so hard to bury?_

He reached out a hand apologetically. You dodged its grasp and backed away. "Don't touch me!" you shrieked. Now, he looked genuinely hurt. Gone was the bright look that shone on his face a few seconds ago. You were in too much of a rage to care about whether or not you hurt him. You were seething in anger. Percy must have taken the hint because his arm dropped limply and he slumped forward in a resigned way.

You stared at him for a few seconds, attempting to reel in your rage, but when that appeared to be fruitless, you simply left. Even though you wanted to scream at him and yell about how furious you were, the rational side to you was screeching that it would only serve to hurt him even more. It was so powerful that it pushed through the haze of anger in your mind and brought back the inkling of guilt you felt earlier. You wouldn't shout at him. Not now, not on your first day out of the infirmary.

No, you would just ignore him.

(~)

The second you stepped into your cabin, the rage disappeared. You breathed in deeply, closing your eyes as the relaxing twinkling tune played in the back of your head. You were finally back in your cabin, in a place that felt like _home_. Back to your own bunk, which looked even comfier than the feather bean bag chairs in the middle of the room. The black swirls on the walls had never been more inviting. Sunlight shined on you from the domed glass roof, something that had always annoyed you but was now a warm feeling you craved.

All of a sudden, something slammed into your stomach. Your eyes opened wide in surprise. You stumbled back a few steps and would have fallen had it not been for the arms that had circled around your waist. You glanced down. A mop of bright red hair filled your vision. "Rex!" you laughed.

He lifted his head from where it had been buried into your stomach and grinned up at you. "You're finally out!"

You laughed, letting go of one crutch and tousling his hair with your hand. His joy was just too contagious. "I-I am! Isn't it grrrreat? I've missed having you around."

His grin quickly gained a mischievous spark. "Oh, really?"

"Don't m-m-make me regret saying that!" you threatened, but it was half-hearted. Your own grin was stretching your mouth painfully, not that you cared. You were too happy to finally be back with your brother and out of that godforsaken infirmary.

Rex gasped and broke away from the tightly wound hug. You were worried for a second until he said, "Charity! I have to get Charity! Wait here," he told you. He sprinted out the door.

Seconds later, Rex was back with Charity in tow, who greeted you in the same fashion as Rex. "(Y/N)!" she exclaimed right before she crashed into you. Her platinum blonde hair was dripping wet along with the rest of her, though you weren't sure why considering she wasn't wearing a swimsuit. You ignored how the water soaked into your own clothes, only wishing to be able to hug her back. Unfortunately, if you let go of your crutches, you would collapse to the ground.

No words were spoken between you two until you separated. Charity was smiling, her eyes looking directly at you yet in that way showing that she was looking at something far deeper. Her head was tilted and her eyes sparkled with a dream-like shine. "You've been let out," she stated. "You can go back to how it was before, now!"

You ignored the stab of pain in your chest when she said that it could go back to normal, opting instead to grin brightly and nod. In reality, it wouldn't be able to go back to normal. At least, not for a long, long time. You were limited to what you could do thanks to your paralysis. Many camp activities were off the list for you, leaving only a few boring ones. What would you _do_ all day? Charity and Rex will be going through their schedule for the day, leaving you with nobody to hang out with. You'd be all alone until lunch and then dinner.

Not only that, but the you before the incident was way different than the you now. Before, you were totally fine being a 'behind the scenes' kind of person. Now, the whole camp knew who you were. Everybody knew what had happened all those months ago and how you had saved Percy's life. Nobody would look at you the same anymore. Even when leaving the infirmary earlier today, there were stares and whispers that you couldn't help but be painfully aware of.

The most noticeable change, however, was something that nobody would be able to see except yourself. It was your feelings about Percy. You used to adore him. You had the biggest crush on him, one of the contributing factors to why you agreed to help. You thought he was one of the most selfless, amazing demigods there was. Now, your thoughts have been completely turned around. You were furious at him. You wanted nothing to do with him, at least until you'd calmed down. Although, you didn't know when that would be.

Charity was looking at you weirdly, as though she knew exactly what you were thinking. You pushed all those thoughts away. Today was supposed to be a day of celebration! Of fun! This marked the day that you got your strength back after nearly complete paralysis. You should be focusing on the pride and happiness of this accomplishment, not wallowing in the fact that nothing would ever be the same again. So, you ignored all that and tried to stay in the moment.

"You guys have n-n-no idea how relllllieved I am to leave that place. I'm sssso sick of seeing those same walls and b-b-beds day by day- there's no way I'm gonna land myself in there ever... again!" Rex giggled at your declaration and you joined in after a few seconds. Charity snorted and you both looked in shock at her own surprised face. Once you made eye contact, you couldn't hold it back anymore, and you burst out laughing.

 _Gods,_ you thought, watching as you all collapsed in fits of laughter, _I'm so happy to be back._

(~)

Sunlight illuminated the room, encompassing everything in a warm, happy colour. You cracked your eyes open blearily, then after figuring out where you were, you smiled and stretched under the sun. Waking up in your own bed was like a shower after a game of capture the flag- refreshing and embraced. Compared to the one in the infirmary, your bed was the coziest surface you'd ever laid on.

You checked the time- 8:30. Sighing, you mentally cursed your siblings for not waking you up (though you didn't really mean it). You'd slept through breakfast. However, since it had only been half an hour, the food could still be out. The thought of being able to eat any sort of food you wanted fueled you. Swinging your legs over the bed, you grabbed your crutches and stumbled over to the bathroom to prepare yourself for the day.

Twenty minutes later, which was ten longer than it would normally take you, you were dressed and out the door. Trying to pay no attention to the stares and whispers that followed you, you hobbled over to the dining pavilion. _Damn,_ you thought, huffing a little with the exertion, _using crutches on the sand is hard. I keep sinking in!_ You suddenly realised why Will had refused to give you a wheelchair instead. The wheels would never slide over the sand.

By the time you reached the eating area, the wood nymphs were clearing away plates. As quickly as you could, you lunged for a stack of grapes right before someone took the plate. She gave you a dirty look, but made no move to take them back. You sighed, relieved. Sitting down at a random table, you silently ate your grapes, happy to have even a little food in you body.

The spark of joy all of a sudden disappeared. Someone had been staring at you since you sat down and you were getting annoyed. At least the others would look away after a quick glance and not flat-out gape at you. You twisted in your seat, ready to give the mother-of-all-glares to this dimwit.

The annoyance died down and shifted into surprise the second you made eye contact. It was Percy. He was sitting at Poseidon's table, all the way on the other side of the pavilion. He still looked as horrible as yesterday, with hair sticking up in all directions and the deepest bags you'd ever seen under his eyes. Once he saw that he had your attention, he stood up with an air of determination and started walking over.

Your annoyance came back full-force and you gritted your teeth. The last thing you wanted to do was talk to this jerk, but you were kind of trapped. Percy was walking quickly enough to be next to you in a few seconds and it would take too long for you to get your crutches out. Even then, you would be too slow and he would catch up to your hobbling. Your hands curled into fists then relaxed. _No,_ you thought. _I'm not gonna let this ruin my day._

Just as you predicated, he was by your side a few seconds later. You didn't look at him, opting to instead focus on plucking off a grape from the vine. You heard him take a deep breath. "Hi, (Y/N)," he said.

Still not looking up, you simply said, "Hi."

Percy's uneasiness projected in waves over to you. You could tell that your indifference had unsettled him. "I-, uh, I wanted to apologize."

You pulled off another grape and chewed it slowly, letting the silence and his nervousness grow. You swallowed. "Oh?" you said.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, uh, you seemed pretty mad yesterday, so I wanted to say sorry."

You turned your head slowly until you were looking him in the eyes. "Okay," you said simply. You started to gather up your crutches.

He seemed surprised. "So, you accept my apology?"

"No." You positioned them on your arms and stood up.

Now, he looked surprised and taken aback. "But you just said-"

"I rec-c-cognize that you've made an ap-p-pology for-for something you don't even know you've done. I don't... accept it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have s-s-somewhere to be." You pushed by him and started to your cabin.

"Wait- (Y/N)!" He grabbed your arm. You wrenched it back. "Don't touch me," you said calmly, but with an underlying tone of warning. "And d-d-don't you dare follow me." You left.

Had you looked back, you would have seen the broken look on his face.


	10. Memories from Long Ago

_Previously..._

 _"I recognize th-that you've made an ap-p-ology for something you don't even know you've done. I d-d-don't accept it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have ssssomewhere to be." You pushed by him and started to your cabin._

 _"Wait- (Y/N)!" He grabbed your arm. You wrenched it back. "Don't t-t-touch me," you said calmly, but with an underlying tone of warning. "And don't you d-d-dare follow me." You left._

 _Had you looked back, you would have seen the broken look on his face._

* * *

The rest of the day went by as though you'd never had that encounter with Percy. Or, at least, you pretended that it never happened. To keep your mind occupied, you busied yourself with thinking about your plan on what to do. Your schedule up until lunch was supposed to be the following: Wrestling, picking strawberries, pegasus riding, canoeing, and then lunch. Note the "supposed to be". Considering your current situation, doing most of those activities was nearly impossible for you. With your legs partly paralyzed, you would never be able to wrestle. You couldn't bend down to pick strawberries with your crutches. There was no way that you'd be able to ride a pegasus, either. On top of all this, Will had forbidden you to do anything physically straining, so even if you wanted to ride your favourite pegasus, Flitwick, you couldn't.

Technically, you had free time until lunch. While most campers would be ecstatic to have this free time, you were disappointed. You had been couped up in that infirmary for so long- you wanted to do something! You wanted to get your butt handed to you by Clarisse and fall off of Flitwick so many times you'd have bruises for weeks. You wanted to hold your staff again and feel the smooth wood on your hands. You wanted to do so many things, but you couldn't.

At least you weren't completely paralyzed. You could still walk around pretty decently. Not all physical movement was restricted for you. You could totally go for a walk! _Maybe to the amphitheatre,_ you mused _, there shouldn't be anyone around right now. Then follow the boundary to the strawberry fields._ Yes, it was decided!

A few minutes later, you were at the amphitheatre. As expected, there wasn't anyone there. You struggled to climb to the top seat on the wooden bleachers. Once there, you sat down with a swift exhale, panting slightly from the exertion. Leaning back against the railing, you smiled. Now, this was a place where you've had many a good memory. Before that day, you'd be here every night, in this exact same spot, singing along with the Apollo cabin as they led the campfire. You remembered this one time with your friends, the most hilarious thing happened...

 _The campfire was already in full swing. Several of the Apollo kids were leading a song called 'This Land is Minos' Land'. They had their lyres and harps out, with a few nymphs playing the flute. Campers were clapping along to the beat of the song. Everybody was singing, and everybody was smiling. There was a joyous atmosphere in the air. Anyone could figure that out. The fire roared golden and tall, showing the campers' happy mood._

 _Then, there was you and your friends. You guys were late. What you were doing prior to this was unimportant, but it most definitely did not involve the words 'pegasi' and 'flying without permission'. Unfortunately, you lost track of time, and now you were late. Like last time. Which is why you couldn't be late again, or else someone would figure out what you were doing._

 _You could barely run from how hard you were laughing. Clara had fallen off her pegasus a total of 4 times in the first ten minutes. And this was from trying to get_ on _it! She was the only one who hadn't been able to fly and you lot were teasing her relentlessly about it._

 _You came through the back, behind the bleachers. Pushing your way through the pine trees, you spit needles out of your mouth and pulled them from your hair once you made it through. The three of you were still giggling, even Clara, though by now anything was funny to you guys._

 _"Guys..." you wheezed. "We need to get up there somehow. Where are Charlie and Matt?" Looking around, you spotted Charlie's thick, curly hair, with Matt right next to her. Thankfully, they had saved space for you. Amy started throwing rocks at them to get their attention. After a few hits, Matt's head whipped around, his eyes glaring holes through Amy's head. Once he realised who it was, though, his face softened and he just looked annoyed._

 _"Where were you?" he hissed. "Actually, I know where you were. You're lucky you left while you did. The pegasi caretaker just left to check on them."_

 _Amy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Can you help us up?"_

 _At first, you weren't sure that Matt would actually agree, but he sighed and reached a hand down. Clara boosted Amy up first and she was pulled up next to Charlie, who looked over in surprise then disappointment._

 _Next was you. You shot an apologetic glance at Charlie, who, much like Matt, simply sighed and wrapped an arm around your shoulder._

 _You all quickly realised that there was no one left to boost Clara up. As you opened your mouth to ask if she needed help, she waved her hand dismissively._ I've got this, _she mouthed. You watched as she backed up as far as she could, then ran straight at the bleachers. She jumped at the last second, grabbed the back railing, and swung herself up._

 _Or, at least, that was what you assumed was supposed to happen. What actually happened was she vastly overestimated the strength of a wooden pole. The second her weight was put on the pole, a huge crack appeared. The last thing you saw was her panicked face as she dropped, taking the wHOLE. BACK. RAILING WITH HER._

 _Keeping in mind that there were other people leaning against it as well, the situation went well beyond Clara breaking it. The second the support was removed,_ those _people fell back as well. The whole amphitheatre was filled with the screams and shouts of surprise as at least ten people suddenly disappeared from their seats._

 _That did it for you. Like the jerk people most likely thought you were, you started laughing your ass off. Amy joined in immediately. You laughed until you were wheezing and sucking in breaths in between giggles. Eventually, you managed to calm down and make your way over to Clara, who gave you one big middle finger in response. You clapped her on the back as you started up again, and soon she joined in. This was probably the funniest thing you'd ever seen happen._

You smiled at the memory. It really, truly, had been one of the best days with your friends. Your smile faltered, though, when you continued to think of them. You'd been trying to avoid memories like this, although you knew it was inevitable. You had too many good memories with them to simply forget your four best friends for nearly all your life at Camp Half-Blood.

You missed them. Clara, with her competitive personality, always ready to take you up on a challenge. Amy, someone who looked like your stereotypical white girl at first glance, but who loved to play pranks at any given opportunity (you've had your face share of finding your shoes filled with some sort of fluid). Matt, the guy with the kindest heart you've ever known yet liked to pretend he hated the world. And then Charlie, the mom friend of the group, always there to make sure you didn't kill yourself in your crazy outings.

What you wouldn't give to have them here now. Charlie was off working in the real world, using that brain Athena blessed her with. She was older than all of you, so she graduated last summer. It was painful to see her go. The next ones to leave were Clara and Amy. They were on a quest to kill rogue monsters causing quite a bit of trouble in California. You had no idea if they were still doing that, or something else. At the very least, you knew they were alive. The same couldn't be said for Matt. A few months before the incident, he lost his battle to cancer. The Apollo kids tried absolutely everything they could to cure it, but he was too far gone by the time they started treatments.

 _And then there was one,_ you thought with bitter amusement. _One little monkey jumping on the bed_.

You sighed. This was meant to be a good memory of your friends. You wanted to remember the fun times you had with them. There was no point in mourning the past. It wasn't like you could change it.

Clearing your mind, you figured you had spent enough time in the amphitheatre. Climbing down, you continued on the walk you had planned out, determined to not get distracted anymore. Of course, that was always what you told yourself. It wasn't like anything ever went according to plan, after all.

You stopped halfway to the strawberry fields. There were trees upon trees in the forest, yet only one mattered to you. Another smile crossed your face. If tears accompanied it this time, there was no one around to confirm it. You hobbled over to a single tree with a trunk taller than two cabins stacked. On the outside, leaves completely covered the tree with no space to see the trunk. On the inside, however, was like a secret hideout. The branches were thick and sturdy for climbing, starting low to the ground and allowed you to climb quite high. You couldn't see out, and no one could see in. It was perfect for you and your friends.

Your fingers ghosted over the tree bark. There was where you had all carved your initials. Whenever you couldn't find one of your friends, or they weren't in their classes, this was without a doubt where they were.

You had all dubbed this tree as a sanctuary for when you wanted to be alone and yet not alone at the same time. A place to go when you felt sad, when you were having a bad day, when all you wanted to do was break down and cry. A place where you knew someone would be coming for you no matter what. A place of trust and comfort, of dried tears and fierce hugs. This was the place where you probably spent the most time with your friends. It was your refuge from the rest of the camp.

You remember when it was first used in this manner...

 _Today had been absolutely terrible. Completely and utterly awful. You wanted to hole up in your cabin and never leave your cozy bed. There was no way you were going to face the camp after the humiliation you had to endure._

 _You had been_ this _close._ This close _to escaping swimming class with the naiads! But of course, one of them saw you right as you tried to slip away, and pulled you right back to where you had been standing. You were there with fifteen other people. Fifteen people who watched as you had to be pulled into the water, screaming and crying, doing everything you could to avoid touching the blue unknown. Eventually, having gotten annoyed, they simply picked you up and threw you in. To you, however, it was like being dropped in the middle of the ocean. You were blinded. You couldn't hear. You couldn't breathe. You didn't even realise that you could stand up until one naiad dragged you up. You were shivering and gasping for air. Two people asked if you were okay, but you couldn't answer them. You were absolutely petrified._

 _Thankfully, one of the younger naiads teaching the class found some pity for you. She let you leave, with the two concerned campers leading you to your cabin. The second you were alone, you collapsed on the ground. You were still shivering. Still gulping in air like there wasn't enough to go around. Yet no tears fell. You forced yourself not to cry, even though the lump in your throat was getting unbearable. Charity and Rex would be here soon. There was no way you would let them see you cry over your stupid fear again._

 _Despite your efforts, your shaking grew tenfold and you were essentially choking from trying not to cry. You had to leave. You had to find somewhere to be alone. Still in your bathing suit and soaking wet, you ran out of your cabin and to the boundary, where you knew no one would be. Tears were gathering in your eyes as you stumbled through sand and rocks, blurring your vision until you finally ran through a cluster of leaves right into a tree._

 _The sudden pain shocked you out of your frenzied state, if only for a moment. Eyes wide and wet from tears, you looked around you wildly. The only thought that crossed your mind was that you had to hide before your self-control cracked. Thankfully, you chose the right tree to run into. The branches drooped down, encasing it in a cocoon of leaves. You were essentially hidden. Once you realised this, you simply collapsed. You were scream-crying, traumatized from the forced experience. Your arms hugged your figure, nails digging into them, though you didn't notice the pain. You wanted to throw up. You were drowning in your sobs. Can't breathe, can't breathe. You were underwater again. Can't see, can't hear, can't breathe. You were thrashing in the dark unknown. Something touched your arm. You jerked back. Can't find land. You were scared. You were terrified. You wanted Charlie. You wanted Clara and Matt and Amy and_ someone just please come please I need you _._

 _Something touched your arm again. It wouldn't let go. You screamed. The thing dragged you towards it. You couldn't stop it. It was holding you, its arms around you, trapping you. Words were being murmured in your ears. What was it doing? Get it away get it away get it away get it_

 _"Shh... It's alright, (Y/N), I'm here."_

 _The voice... it was warm. It was calm. It wasn't like the water... like what's in the water. It was soothing. You felt yourself relax in its arms as it continued to talk nonsense._

 _"I've got you... It's Charlie, honey... you're not alone."_

 _Charlie? Your Charlie? She was here? Why would she be stuck under the darkness with you... unless... where were you?_

 _"You're not in the water. You're right here, sitting next to me, on dry land."_

 _You weren't in the water... you didn't feel it around you. In fact, the ground felt quite rough. You felt around with your hands. Why couldn't you see? Open your eyes. Open your eyes. It's dark. You didn't want to be in the darkness anymore. Open your eyes._

 _Your eyes cracked open, light flooding your vision. You blinked owlishly, looking around in bewilderment. You knew you were sitting on the ground, on grass by the feel of it. However, for whatever reason, a wall of leaves blocked your sight beyond a 5 meter radius. And next to you was Charlie, who was holding you in a tight hug, stroking your hair in gentle motions. "Charlie?" you rasped. Your voice was rough and dry. What had happened?_

 _She leaned away from the hug, still holding you by your shoulders. "(Y/N)," she said, relieved. "How are you feeling?"_

 _"Ah." You swallowed, trying to get some moisture in your throat. "Tired. Fine, other than that. Why am I in a tree?"_

 _"You ran here after being thrown in the water."_

 _You snapped to attention pretty quickly. Your eyes grew wide. "I was thrown in the water?"_

 _Charlie made a sympathetic noise. "Yes. It appears you had a panic attack not soon after."_

 _"I-" It was starting to come back. "Oh... oh, yeah. I- I came here since I didn't want Rex and Charity to see me... break down." You remembered everything. You realised with a start that tears were streaming down your face again. You rubbed at your eyes, drying them with your sleeve._

 _"Hey... hey now, you're okay. It's all over." She pulled you back into a hug for a few more minutes, until you had finally managed to control your breathing. When you let go this time, Charlie had an eyebrow quirked. "You know," she said, "You gave us quite a scare running to here in the middle of nowhere. We were looking everywhere for you."_

 _You looked down guiltily. Sometimes you wished Charlie didn't act so much like a mom. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I just needed to get away."_

 _"How about we make this a thing?" You look up, confused. She elaborated. "As in, this is the place we go if we're feeling sad and we want someone to find us. This is the place we go to if today's been a horrible day and you need to talk. This is the place we go to if, as you said, we need to get away from the rest of the camp. No matter what, if we can't find each other, we know where we are. How about it?"_

 _Within two seconds of thinking about it, you agreed. This would be the place for everything Charlie mentioned. You wouldn't need to worry about being alone during a panic attack. You wouldn't need to worry about ever being alone. This tree, this tree right here, would be your refuge from this point onward._

You all had used it for its original purpose many, many times. After some time, it grew to be not only a place of comfort but a place of happiness and joy. You started to hang out there on a regular basis. Every day, whenever your free periods overlapped, this was where you would meet. This place was filled with so many memories, good and bad, though the good usually overlapped with the bad.

Touching your face, you were surprised to find that your cheeks were wet from tear stains. You wiped them away, smiling all the while. Your other hand was still touching the initials in the bark. With a last grin to the tree, you let your hand fall and slowly walked away from it.

Your last destination, should you not get distracted again, was the strawberry fields. Although... now that you think about it, the strawberry fields were pretty far from the mess hall. If you walked all the way there, you'd still have to essentially re-walk the same distance back for lunch. Plus it was already- you checked your watch- _what?_ It was 12:15! Lunch was starting in fifteen minutes! You got way more lost in those memories than you had wanted to.

You were suddenly filled with dread. You hadn't realised how badly you didn't want to go back. During the past three hours, there hadn't been anyone to stare at you or make comments. You'd been completely alone with your thoughts. Now, though, you had to eat with the whole camp where there were hundreds of eyes looking at you. You desperately wanted to skip, but if you didn't show up then Rex and Charity would be worried and you didn't want to do that to them.

Plus, you were starving.

Sighing deeply, you twisted your crutches in the direction of the mess hall. It was now or never.

* * *

I'M BACK, Y'ALL!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!


	11. Camp Life

_Previously..._

 _You were suddenly filled with dread. You hadn't realised how badly you didn't want to go back. During the past three hours, there hadn't been anyone to stare at you or make comments. You'd been completely alone with your thoughts. Now, though, you had to eat with the whole camp where there were hundreds of eyes looking at you. You desperately wanted to skip, but if you didn't show up then Rex and Charity would be worried and you didn't want to do that to them._

 _Plus, you were starving._

 _Sighing deeply, you twisted your crutches in the direction of the mess hall. It was now or never._

* * *

Surprisingly enough, lunch wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.

It was worse.

The second you came into view of the tables, peoples' conversations died down until nearly everyone was looking at you. Whispers were passed from mouth to ear. You shrunk down under their gazes and made your way to where your siblings were seated. After a few moments of silence, the noise levels slowly rose to where they were before. Either way, it was pretty awkward. You appreciated how Rex glared at anybody who stared too long and Charity would stare right back, not breaking eye contact, until the person got uncomfortable and shifted their view.

As they did that, you were looking around for a certain somebody. Percy wasn't anywhere to be seen- not at his table, Annabeth's, or with Nico. The empty seat at the Poseidon table left you with an odd feeling. You shook your head, tearing your eyes away from his spot. Why did you care where he was? You were mad at him. No, you were _furious_ at him. The dormant emotion in your chest re-ignited with a burning anger. _There, that's more like it_.

People eventually returned to their own conversations as you felt gazes leave your body. You figured now would be the time to escape and nudged Rex. "Hey," you whispered. "I'm gonna go back to the cabin. Maybe take a little nap."

The corner of his mouth quirked up in a mischievous smirk. "So you're saying that you'll be sleeping and unaware of what's happening around you? Bold of you to give me this information."

You glared at him. "Rex, I swear to all the gods if you prank me I will guarantee you won't be able to sleep for a whole week."

He raised his hands up in the surrender sign. "Hey, just having a little fun."

You laughed and ruffled his hair. He scowled and swatted your hand away, fixing up the mess you made. "See you later, Rex."

"Yeah yeah, see you."

You ended up in your cabin a few minutes later. True to your word, you quickly fell asleep, the only thought on your mind being that you hoped you wouldn't wake up with some sort of slime on your face.

(~)

The days passed quickly, quicker than you expected. One moment you would be at the tree, the next you would be sitting at dinner, wondering where the day had gone.

You spent your time doing one of two things. A portion of your day was dedicated to working out. Now that you had settled into life back in camp, you figured it would be a good time to re-start building up your strength. You couldn't stay in the crutches forever, after all.

You didn't work out in the arena like most campers. For one, that was primarily a sword-fighting place, not a doing-push-ups-on-the-floor kind of place. Secondly, the number of eyes on you would be immense. You could't deal with so many people looking at you. You feared you would snap and scream at them all, then be forever known as the "crazy girl". So, you opted to find some spacious area on the grass, hidden behind the amphitheatre, where no one passed and no one could see you. There, you would work out for about two hours in 20 minute chunks, since Will forced (read: threatened) you to promise you wouldn't strain yourself. _Stupid Will and his stupid boyfriend who stood watching you make the promise and now you were too afraid to go back on it._

Or, you would be lost in thought. You knew it was bad for you to do that, but you figured- what was the harm in doing it? What else would you do for the rest of the day? This was a perfect way to let the days pass by when you were all alone. You could simply sit back and relax, then have Charity rouse you back into reality when it was time for supper. Besides, it was hard not to lose track of time when you didn't have anything to do for the whole day. And you didn't realise it was happening when it happened. You would just think about one memory, and suddenly you went speeding down the memory lane, veering off the road and crashing into a pit you couldn't get out of. No worries, though. You were positive that it would all stop and get easier to control when you actually had something else to occupy your thoughts.

Sometimes you stayed in the amphitheatre, resting on the top seat of the bleachers. Other times, when you knew there would be an event taking place there, you would venture to your tree. You tried not to go there too much, or at least not get lost in thought whenever you were there, because you inevitably started thinking about your friends. It was always a fine line between a happy memory or a sad memory. You didn't want to risk remembering something bad.

Also, you had started to develop some... fears, you could say. Most of them had to do with being in large groups. You had started to hate eating at the mess hall with the whole camp. It wasn't just because you felt people looking at you- that had actually begun to dial down. It was other things that you couldn't quite explain.

Sometimes, everything would suddenly become too loud. The sounds were _drowning._ People's voices carried across the whole mess hall, mixing in the air and becoming an unmanageable noise. The sound of cutlery scraping a plate, food being chewed, benches and tables creaking, it suffocated you until you couldn't stand it for another second. You would stagger out of your seat, having only eaten half of what was on your plate, and whisper to Charity that you were going to take a nap. Even your own voice felt too loud.

Other times, or even at the same time, everything was too _bright_. The colours felt like they burned your eyes, and even when you squeezed them shut, you felt they were penetrating the darkness and filling up your whole brain with their light. Touch became incredibly sensitive as well. Much like the colours, anything touching you felt burning. You sometimes had to unstrap you crutches because you would become increasingly aware of the way they rubbed against your skin. Even Charity brushing her hand against your arm slightly was enough to ignite it with tingles, each one feeling like a stab with a needle, only fading away when you swatted at it a few times.

You were only mildly concerned about it. You figured that it was understandable that you didn't like being around people, especially after all the "special treatment" people gave you. They would stare, obviously, but also walk away quickly when you hobbled in their general direction. There were those who whispered and eyed you, obviously talking about you. Some would offer to help if you appeared to be struggling in the sand, to which you would politely decline. It made you feel weak and helpless. And, of course, the rumours. For whatever reason, people would always spread rumours, even when they already (somehow) knew about the whole incident. You would hear people talking about how you actually left camp to fight the primordial in person. They would speak in hushed tones, saying how it was impossible for something like that to happen, and that you were making it all up. Even worse than that was the rumour that you planted the darkness there in the first place then removed it to make Percy like you for saving him.

You tried to ignore it all. And the best way to do that was to simply remove yourself from reality.

Currently, you were at your tree. The Apollo kids were practicing in the amphitheatre for tonight's campfire, so you had to kick yourself out of there. You were lying on your back, staring up at the leaves that encased you like a globe. The crutches lay discarded to the side. You were thinking. Not about anything specific. Life in general. Of course, that was a huge mistake, because you felt your thoughts eventually lead you to Percy.

Gods, how you were angry. You couldn't stop thinking about your rage. It was all you felt when his name popped up in your dwellings. You wanted to blame him for everything that had happened. It felt like the easiest way to deal with it. But you couldn't bring yourself to that point. You were angry for a different reason. Not because you felt it was all his fault, which it wasn't. You were angry that he didn't visit you and left you feeling scared and hopeless. You had already established this with yourself, so why couldn't you accept it and move on?

You groaned and closed your eyes, rubbing them with your hands. Why were emotions so confusing? Why wouldn't your mind just understand that it had happened and it was over with?

 _What if it didn't happen?_

Your hands stilled. What was that thought?

 _It didn't happen. It wasn't real. It was a dream._

Arms dropping to your sides, you frowned. That didn't make sense at all. Obviously, it had happened. You lived through it- something you really didn't feel like thinking about. It stressed you out to the point that you would get a massive migraine and feel like your emotions were attacking you all at once.

 _Are you here? Are you (Y/N)?_

You felt seriously creeped out from these thoughts of yours. A ball of dread began to form in the pit of your stomach. They didn't make any sense-

 _Or is this a dream?_

You shot up into a sitting position, eyes wide.

 _You're not real. None of this is real._

You started to shake.

 _Move your hand. Move it. Move it._

Your hand lay limp in your lamp. You stared at it. It was the same hand you had always had. You stared at it longer. Something clicked in your mind. Suddenly, it felt... gray. It was there, yet it wasn't. It was real, yet fake. _Is this real life? Or is this a fantasy?_ It started to tremble. Before your very eyes, it started to come undone, the atoms that make it up buzzing, distorted, shimmering like they couldn't hold together.

Panicked, you urged yourself to _feel_ the thought- move your hand! -sensing the command go from the nerves in it to your brain then back to your hand, and then you saw it lift. The process was supposed to be automatic and unnoticeable, you knew that, but at that moment it was all broken down into its barest form.

You brought your other hand next to the right. They were shaking. They were gray. They weren't real.

The world exploded.

(~)

When you came to, it was because someone was shaking your shoulder.

"Hey. Hey, (Y/N). You there?"

You blinked. Your eyes felt stiff and dry, like you hadn't blinked in hours. You blinked again, then looked up from your slouched position to see Will, kneeling down in front of you, one hand on your arm.

He smiled. "Hey, (Y/N). You were gone for a pretty long time there."

Your eyebrows furrowed together. "What d-d-do you mean?"

"Oh, you know, lost in thought. I hear it's been happening quite a bit these past few days."

Sighing, you straightened up, rolling your shoulders to relieve some of the stiffness that had built up. "I mean, yeah. It's n-n-not like there's anything else for me t-t-to do."

"Well, I have been informed that it isn't a healthy thing to do for children of Morpheus." His eyebrow quirked up in that annoying way that meant he knew you were doing something you shouldn't be doing.

You raised your own eyebrow in response. "Charity t-t-tell you that?"

"Rex, if you'd believe it. He's actually quite concerned about you."

Hearing that, you stilled. _Rex_ was concerned? You didn't think that what you do every day would worry him so much.

"And," Will continued, "I can see why. You were pretty far gone. It took several minutes of shaking and snapping my fingers in your face to rouse you."

You stared at him indifferently. What he said didn't trouble you. That was exactly what normally happened when you got caught up in memories. It was no different in this case. "That's normal. B-But if you're so worried, then d-d-do you have a better way to make use of mmmy time?"

His mouth stretched into a grin. _Oh no_ , you thought, dread seeping into your stomach. You didn't think he would actually have an answer.

"Well, I think it's time you get back into camp activities." You tried to protest. He kept talking. "As far as I can tell, your hands are perfectly fine. In fact, your whole upper body seems to be doing great. So, I talked to Chiron." He picked up your crutches and handed them to you with a large smile. "Have fun in Arts and Crafts."

(~)

"We have a bunch of things here for anybody who comes in! There's sculpting, which we have real marble and sharpened tools for, though it's a long process and we usually don't recommend it to newbies. Drawing, of course, is a classic. We have all the mediums you could ask for- pencil, graphite, chalk, charcoal, ink. Ooh, there's tons of paint too, like acrylic, watercolour, oil paint, airbrush, gouache, pretty much everything. Weaving is a favourite of the Athena kids, but that takes a certain skill that not everybody has. Oh! Ceramics is always fun-"

This. Was. Torture. Why would Will ever think that arts and crafts was the way to reinstate you into normal life at camp? You couldn't remember the last time you picked up a pencil and drew a sheep, let alone tried to sculpt. Your creativity levels were off the charts, and by off the charts you meant so low they were nonexistent.

"-all types of yarn, which are naturally dyed, by the way! So you don't have to worry if we use chemicals if you're allergic or something, since it's all organic. The corner over there is meant for architecture, which we added in ever since Annabeth was asked to redesign Olympus. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who wanted to try their hand at designing landscapes and buildings after that! So yeah, there's always that-"

You stifled a groan. You were being led around the Arts & Crafts building by this bubbly Demeter girl who would not stop talking. She probably hadn't taken a breath in the past seven sentences. Her quick, chipper voice was beginning to give you a migraine. You appreciated the effort to get you engaged, but all you wanted to do was be given a pencil and paper and left alone to do your own thing.

You couldn't take it anymore, and interrupted her in the middle of her sentence. "You know what? I think I'll stick to the b-b-basics for... now. C-C-Could I just draw with a pencil?"

The momentary surprise of being cut off disappeared and she shot you a dazzling smile. "Sure thing! You could just sit over there and I'll set you up with the supplies in a few minutes."

"Great, thanks." You hobbled over to the desk and made yourself comfortable. True to her word, the girl brought over the materials a few minutes later.

"Let me know if you need anything else. I'll be over by the sculpting section, 'kay?" You nodded and she bounced away, finally leaving you alone.

Staring at the paper, you made no move to pick up the pencil provided. Like you said, you weren't creative in the slightest. What was there to draw?

A minute passed. You sighed. This was boring as hell. Picking up the pencil, you flipped it around your finger, looking around the room for inspiration. Nothing popped out at you. Eventually, your gaze returned to your hand spinning the pencil. A thought struck the back of your mind. You remembered how you felt under the tree, hours before Will found you. The strange thoughts you had had jumped around in your mind. Above anything else, you were confused and weirded out by them. Why on Olympus were you wondering whether or not you were real? It was a stupid thought. You quickly dismissed it, however, assuming it had something to do with the memory you were thinking of. Your brain did strange things when you were lost in thought, after all.

Another minute passed. Still nothing on the paper.

A few minutes later, and Karlee, the girl, ventured back to where you were sitting. Her smile faltered slightly when she saw your blank page, then grew back full force. "Having trouble thinking of something to draw?"

You shrugged. "I'm just n-n-not an artsy t-t-type of person."

"Well, I could help you, if you wanted."

There was nothing more you wanted than for her to leave you alone. But then you looked at her bright eyes and happy grin, and felt ashamed for wanting to crush her lively spirit, just because you were feeling bitter at Will. Plus, now that you think about it, she wasn't acting any differently towards you. She wasn't acting like you were (Y/N), the girl who faced Tartarus. She was acting like you were any other camper who was forced into the arts and crafts building. She was acting like you were (Y/N), child of Morpheus and avid Pegasus rider. She was acting like you were you. The least you could do was accept the help she had been generously giving you this entire time.

You looked her right in those shining blue eyes of hers and smiled, shifting over to the side to let her sit. "Actually, yeah, that would b-b-be great."

* * *

Oh dear lord I did not realise how long it had been. Does time fly by quickly for anyone else? I've had this chapter written for a long time, but I guess I forgot to post it. I'll definitely set a reminder for next week.

What do you guys think about the whole reality spiel? Do you think it's actually something serious, a new problem she might be facing? Or do you think it's nothing and just an effect she has always been facing because of her fatal flaw? Either one is entirely possible.

My story kind of reminds me of Julius Caesar, the play, in the sense where one of the main characters isn't actually a main character. Caesar had basically no lines compared to Brutus, like how Percy, the love interest, has only been shown for like a chapter. But they're both there in spirit.


End file.
